Butch? Femme? Both?

Icarus's picture

Okay, this has been kind of rolling around in my head. This is both guys and girls, I just put the terms I'm familiar with. So...do you like butchy or femme? Or maybe both or a little bit of both. I myself prefer femme. Have had like three crushes and all were preppy and feminine and gorgeous. But I also like the slight butchy type, with not adhering to "girl" rules, like me.

Just a question to throw out there.

Dim's picture


I like sorta effeminate guys, I guess. Not the ones that spend half their life time in front of the mirror getting ready, though...


Dark-Lord's picture


I liek a butchy guy, but not overboard, i want one that will be there to hold me in his tight muscular arms and be older and taller. I want him to make me feel liek i am safe, that he will always be there to defend and love me. (that was corny)


CaliMan's picture


I like all kinds of guys. I do not like the really femme guys since I think of it as being with a girl sort of. I like the out going personality of some semi femme guys but I like the feeling of being with a normal guy who is masculine with some femme traits lol

hazee's picture


______whatever happens, happens!_______

taste the rainbow's picture

personally i'm more into the

personally i'm more into the slightly tom boyish and fem girls. but really i just want some one whos confident in themselves inside and out. and of course, loves me for just being the simple me

"What they don't know can't hurt them

but it sure as hell can hurt me"

simplyme's picture

^^^^ completely the same as m

^^^^ completely the same as me.

One day we will start to fly and never look back..

Gerardo's picture

Well, I am into really anythi

Well, I am into really anything besides femmenine (for guys). I cannot stand lisps or anything related. Just because your gay doesnt make you a girl... I can understand if you are like in drag or you want a sex change. That is much different.

"Yeah, I'm still alive..."

rowie's picture

i like girls who are comforta

i like girls who are comfortable with themselves i guess. i prefer tomboys, i like butch but not complete stone butch. girly looking girls are cool too, but not if their personalities are too overly girly.

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

babymoi14's picture

i love them both im a lesbian

i love them both im a lesbian more towards butch

aManDa's picture

I like both.. I really like s

I like both.. I really like semi-gothic/punk girls.. My girlfriend now is super hot with her style :) i love her..

"I feel there is something unexplored about a woman that only a woman can explore."
---by Georgia O'Keeffe

my heart it pitter patters's picture

i go for alterna girl types,

i go for alterna girl types, usually, whihc in some ways means they're more femme, tend to care about appearance and w/e, but i've also gone for some pretty butchy chicks. idk, neither really, and both. i like girls in combat boots and mini skirts. ^^

once time is lit, it will burn whether or not you're breathing it in. even after smoke becomes air there is the memory of smoke. -david levithan

Sera's picture

Im completely inbetween, i li

Im completely inbetween, i like a girl to be girly without the whole"oh god i just broke a nail" and i like a girl to be butch with out being hardcore. Bit of makeup, tight jeans and hoodie and Im' in heaven lol

Duncan's picture

I like guys who are butch, or

I like guys who are butch, or a balance of butch and femme.

princessgavvie's picture


I don't get it... how is lisping feminine?

never kick a dog, because it's just a pup, we'll fight like twenty armies, and we won't give up, so you'd better run for cover when the pup grows up!~ Les Mis

Hyacinthus's picture


Well I perfer a guy who is kinda a mixture of both, but I tend to lean towards guys with a more effeminate than macho. So long as they're not vain.

"The French are glad to die for love, they delight in fighting duels. But I like a man who lives, and gives expensive jewels"

Chizuna san's picture

either or

both are nice, but nothing gets me going like seeing a girl with super-shhort ghair in jeans and a black muscle shirt or white wifebeater

Anonymous's picture

I like macho chicks and femin

I like macho chicks and feminine dudes. I get a
kick out of those, where you've got to look at
'em in the double digits to figure out what they

the mouse that roared's picture

Pretty much all across the board

I like butchy girls, femme girls, effeminate guys, and the occasional butch guy. But much of an emphasis on the girls. I really don't care what gender clothes they're wearing, I'm attracted to the girl more than her gender style/expression. Though recently my friends and I somehow got into a conversation about a girl wearing lumberjack drag (some obscure connection to Monty Python) and I found it incredibly hot to think about for some odd reason...

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser

babymoi14's picture

im a butch but it doesent mat

im a butch but it doesent matter if i date a butch girl or femme girl
and theyre all sexy to me :0

just do what you do and just be you

NovaCat's picture

The only thing I don't like i

The only thing I don't like in guys is like super-studly muscle-men type stuff . . . that's just a huge turn-off . . . also, most cross-dressing is unsexy to me . . . most, not all.

The god machine's picture

I tend to like femme guys but

I tend to like femme guys but wouldn't mind a strong pair of arms to hold me

I was early to finish,
I was late to start
I must be an adult,
but I'm a minor at heart

Bionicslim's picture

I love femme guys too. Especi

I love femme guys too. Especially the hot ones in emo bands. But like you, i like strong arms to hold me.

sweet_grrrl's picture


I don't really care about "butch" vs "femme". As long as a the person isn't ditzy, damsel in distress-ish, or obsessed with working out and sports, I don't care. Mostly I'm attracted to a person, whether the person is butch, femme, male, female, genderqueer, whatever. If I had to pick between butch, femme, or a bit of both, I'd go with both.

pixies_in_the_underworld's picture

mmm...butch girls

There's something about butch girls that I find incedibly sexy, but the only girls that I've hooked up with and liked for longer periods of time are femme. I'm basically going to reiterate what a lot of other people have said, it's more how comfortable they are in their own skin. Plus, I usually go for personality more than appearance, so while being a bit tough on the outside might initially attract me, it's not what keeps me.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Imstillhere's picture


It doesnt really matter to me but i guess if i had
to chose it would probable be in-between i don't
really like girls who are like " omigod look at my hair!"
and then again if they have a good personality
i could deal with it.

~The heart may freeze or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future, there is no past
I live this moment as my last
There's only us, there's only this
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss
No other road, no other way
No day but today~

fuzi's picture

I don't really think about it

I don't really think about it. The girls I've dated were more "femme," and I recently almost had a thing going with a more "butch girl." To be honest, I used to not understand why girls would be butchy, but now, I think it's rather attractive. I'm getting older, and I see that everyone can be beautiful and worth getting to know, regardless of what label they fit (or don't).


Flash-of-Lightning@drupal.org's picture

As long as the girl isn't lik

As long as the girl isn't like. . . A bodybuilder or anything, I'm good. Girls that have a six-packs are complete turn off, honestly. My current crush is the pretty, popular, cheerleader girl, so I dunno. *shrugs*

Aden's picture

I have a thing for butch. But

I have a thing for butch. But when it comes down to it, I don't really care.

[Lust /or/ Love] ? ? ?

Lil_Aj_16's picture

I myself really like butchs m

I myself really like butchs more but something femm . but i like any girl that is not scared to get dirty outside an help me work on cars and trucks haha not to many on earth that will help lmafo but i do like femm girl that cooks and clean hahah well thats my types

CaliDude's picture


I like a mixture of both, I don't like too effiminate though. Since I am a masculine gay man, and a totally effiminate gay guy would just be a conflict of personalities. But I do sometimes like hints of effminate traits in a guy. It kinda depends on the guy though.

oldfoxbob's picture


I like older butch guys ( 40 plus) because
they are much better in bed, have the patients to
make love not just sex. Take their time to touch
and feel not just "do it". Yet the all have a
little fem in them too. Caring, loving, gentle
stroke of the flesh. The younger guys ( sorry boois)
just are too quick to trigger, cant take their time
and really are lousy lovers in bed. They seem to]
be wamm bamm thank you man and are gone. Older guys
like to do the whole romance thing. Movie, dinner
dancing, loving Its so much better that way.
Sorry I cant speek for the girls but I bet its
the same there too.
Old fox bob
you are loved.

pinkfairy's picture

For me, a very feminine boy w

For me, a very feminine boy who looks like a girl, I like a guy to be a bit butch. lol. I mean i want him to be able to look after me, and when he holds me in his arms i want to feel weak. You know what i mean.

Panic Motion's picture

My bed's empty.

I got so warm inside(not in that pierced tongue way either) just reading that last line of your posting. That's a beautiful way of putting it.

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jomari_i5's picture

love them.

i'm in to femme girls. i love stupid girls, airhead girls and reilly cute sexy innocent girls and is not that i hate butchy girls is because femme is more like my taise.

"just be your self and forget what stupid people say about u"
just be happy!!! :)

booboo's picture


for me i like mix. femme oso can butch oso can cause i like a big hand to hold my hand...as to protect me..lol

"you're not finish if you loose, but
you're finish if you quit"

Panic Motion's picture

Gurl you so crazy!

I could not see myself dating a limp wrist. I've always thought that I'd be the "sensitive" one whenever I got into a homo relationship. I think I'm pretty far from being a girly gay, but I also don't adjust my crotch every 15 seconds to make sure it's still there. I want a man, not a whiny little bitch.

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Morganna's picture


I can't even classify myself as one, let alone know which one I like more! As long as they are female, smart, and can keep me entertained (as in good sense of humor), And dont make me want to puke when i look at them, I'll date almost anyone once. I tend to have serious relationships with the more feminine girls though. i dont know why, but I do. *shrug*

Anonymous's picture

I like a bit of a mix, but to

I like a bit of a mix, but towards the butch side. Femme boys creep me out.

"Secrecy is the art of hiding unbeknownst information from people." ~ Ilpalazzo

TheSohoSai's picture

I like femme or inbetween. I

I like femme or inbetween. I also fall for goth girls a lot, despite being completely ungothic myself. As for myself, I'm definitely femme, though I have my boyish days.

Come on and stand/Come on now, stand/Come on and stand/Plant your sword in the sand/In this age of unreason/There's a time and a season for love/Stand.
--The Kennedys

audiogeek's picture

Femme, Of Course =]

I used to think that I was a straight-up lesbian, (no pun intended) since I prefered femme attitudes over butch ones. But I've settled on the fact that I am bi, about a 4.7 on the Kinsey Scale; (rofl. I love odd numbers like that) and that I like femme guys as well as femme girls. I myself am a bit... well, let's just say that I'm not excactly "preppy", but I'm not running around in my father's old clothes. I don't really fit any labels, except perhaps the label of the un-labeled. In girls, I prefer them to be not too femme--not obsessing over their image or any rubbish like that. Feminine, but not cocky or, as it's the only word that I can think of to describe this, "preppy". Same for boys--I absolutely hate macho guys. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a feminist, and I hate how males are seen as superior to females... I've always thought that that was why I prefered guys to be more wimpy, awkward, and cute than buffed-up, smooth, and good-looking. o.O

"Who ever said that anyone had the right to give up?"

Sunny Rays's picture

For girls I like a mix of sor

For girls I like a mix of sorta punky/butch mix. I love short hair on girls. Oh and red hair. I don't get it but I think that a girl with short red hair is soo hot.

For guys I like the slightly feminine artsy types. They're cute!

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.