Okay soi am going crazy here at home i have no real friends that know what my true self is and i never am able to let go i keep gaurded waiting for that moment i will be found out and just rejected. I need to know what some of you do to have fun get out where you guys have gone to meet new people. I need to have a way to stop sitting at home dwelling on things i have no control over.
Also on some aspects of things i really just need to start getting out there into something dealing with gay teens or gay community things in general. My sisters school has a gsa but sadly mine doesn't cause it is an alternative school. I would just think it would be great to interact with others who understand what i feel or think. I have this one girl at school i hangout with but she isn't really a close friend because it seems as if she just tolerates my liking girls. Like we are just sitting there and then she'll start talking about a sexy guy on a poster or in a magazine. Then i say something like oh she's beautiful or she has great eyes. She completely ignores it and keeps acting as if i never said anything or if i am talking about a gay celebrity or some gay show or some news. She looks so bored and irritated.
It's just really getting old being reacted to like that i want someone that even if i say the smallest bit of information involving gay things will be ok with it. If you were around me i really don't talk about many gay things often just like once every 3 weeks or whatever so i don't know why she gets annoyed as she does. /well i just wish there was ways to get people around me that were not just around cause we both have noone to hangout with. Well i am sorry for ranting on like this have a great week and thanks for any of your suggestions or comments if you do.