Please Help

shyguy3135's picture

Ok, heres the run down. Im 14, gay, and nobody knows. Im ready to come out but im not sure how. Any tips?

Inkblot's picture

I think..

You should come out to someone you trust first. Or, if you're in a very anti-gay area, it may be safer to stay in the closet. If you think your parents need to know, tell them later. Make sure you're sure of yourself before you tell your parents.

And all I know for sure
All I know for real
Is knowing doesn't mean so much
When placed against the feeling
The heat inside
When bodies meet
When fingers touch
-The Sisters Of Mercy, Some Kind Of Stranger

shyguy3135's picture

Well...

Well... i think my parents would be cool about it, but my friends are the problem. Most of them are very anti-gay, and quote my "best friend" "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" I want to tell him, along with the rest of my friends, but theres not much to work with.

Allie's picture

If you want to know what ;ang

If you want to know what ;anguage to use, you could just say something like "This is really random, but I'm gay/lesbian/bi/whatever." Some people say you should write a letter to your parents, personally I like coming out to people in person. You could always come out to friends online but my instinct says this is not a good plan, because it can be really hard to read peoples reactions when you are only using typed text. In person, even if they react badly, you have a chance to say "lets talk about this" but if you're online and they sign off you're stuck. Also, anything you type online can be saved and potentially shown to third parties. It's really up to you how you come out. I've found that the least awkward coming out situations for me have been the ones where i said "This is kind of random, but I'm lesbian." It leaves little room for misinterpretation and leavs you the option of comtinuing to talk about being glbtq or going back to whatever you were talking about before the "random" fact. Good luck!
Allie

shyguy3135's picture

Now that i think of it, my da

Now that i think of it, my dad will find out today when he checks my computer......should have thought of that earlier

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Robert Heinlein
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell

shyguy3135's picture

Wow, just told my Dad, he was

Wow, just told my Dad, he was cool bout it, question is , will my friends, stepparents, and Mom be cool too......

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Robert Heinlein

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell

raining men's picture

Varies

If there is any danger to you coming out, then you don't have to do it. But if you can, it is advisable. You've already had success with your dad, use the same technique for your mom - tried and tested is often best.
Friends though, you should be as casual as possible. Don't sit them down and make a big issue of it. Don't get overtly serious. If you make a big thing of it, they will. If you don't, then they won't. thec chance of rejection by them is a lot less that way. You can either tell them failry casually, or jsut make comments that force them to ask if you're gay. Just say yes. They'll be surprised, but unlikely to be angry or rejectional

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"