Test Me, Taste Me

Palmtreechick14's picture

"How uncomfortable does this make you?"
His hand, so close to my center, resting on my thigh
I embrace the touch, a contact with life
But what emotion is there?
He tests me often
Perhaps trying to "fix" me,
Or does he want me to...
...too.

"Scale of 1 to 10..."
Another day, another touch
Makes me question everything, everything
If it feels so right, why does it feel wrong?
This is what's normal, this is what should be
I should love this much more than I do
He digusts me for being him...
...a him.

"You're on the list too."
A third day, alone talking about
Who we "like", in That Way.
And so there it is, he wants me
I almost want him
Because I crave what he would give me
But not who he is...
...what he is.

And then here it comes. The Kiss.
Soft and slow and then faster faster
Dangerous
Electric
Thrilling
Confusion
Can't take it
Too much for me...
...for us.

Why oh why oh why must I be the way I am
I want to be normal but I want to be me
A deep burning secret keeps me from "free"
I try to embrace
I try to be proud
I just want to scream and drown out all sound...
...sounds of crying inside

Comments

zoe rose's picture

shah.sorry. but the beginni

ahahahah.
sorry. but the beginning of this poem reminds me of my whole thing with the guy--ryan?
yea.
haha.
you are REALLY talented, let me give you that, i really like your poems.

Loves!
Zoe

green eyed goddess's picture

wow thats really good dont

wow thats really good

dont label me; i'm not a soup can

the mouse that roared's picture

Wow

That was insanely gorgeous. I love the pacing and emotion and confusion. Beautiful.

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser

my heart it pitter patters's picture

i love this poem. so much. it

i love this poem. so much. it's gorgeous and it's close to my heart, b/c it's like what i felt with my boyfriend.

once time is lit, it will burn whether or not you're breathing it in. even after smoke becomes air there is the memory of smoke. -david levithan