This is a poem i wrote called "Me" read and comment please.

Dark-Lord's picture

What do you want me to be?
I try so hard but it is never enough
You criticize me for all that I do
What is it you want from me?

You just can see
The pain inside of me
My soul cries for deliverance
My body cries for death
I am insane
I have nothing left
You took everything from me

I cannot bear the weight
The weight of this suffering
When will it end?
When will it end?

I try everyday
I try to make through
I cannot hold on
Not any longer
Is this what you wanted from me?

Comments

Gerardo's picture

That's nice. Sounds like some

That's nice. Sounds like something that someone reads in a school assembly to get a point through about non-acceptance.

-claps-

@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#
"For the ladies and the fags yeah. We're the band with the rollerskate jams!"
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#

nickywicz's picture

it really incaptures the read

it really incaptures the reader into what your fealing and you get your point across like bam. and its also very very agressive but in a good way like this is what im saying listen to me know god damnit lol.

sendin pce

nicky

Starry Sky's picture

Wow

This is a great peom, rock on man!! I really liked the unsuaul rhyme scheme and, of course, the great message you're trying to get across...

VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!!