Untitled II

cayde's picture

I recieved my distributed systems homework back from Jinni (graduate school's marker) yesterday morning. She congratuated me on another piece of good work. I was happy and joyous - it was the happiest day since the less successful Database report was returned.

I suddenly sunk into loneliness - there was no one there who can truely understand what these achievements really mean to me to congratulate me. I finally emerged from the emotional stage and proceeded to the gym. I completed the work out program, although I got through it at slightly lower intensity, than the original figures on the program.

I was still enjoying the day, I phoned up Peter to say hey. He later returned my call and started rebuking me for being "unpleasent" and "obnoxious" to his partner the other day. I was confused and spirallly plunged into angers. He also pointed out that that it was Valentine Day he was planning to spend that evening with "his woman". He shouted the word woman, just to highlight it to me. Well Peter just called me a faggot I think. According to that All faggots are unpleasent and obnoxious and willing to break up other people's relationship. Suddenly my bestfriend is a heterosexist and was ready to relay whatever pleasent and unpleansent things from his girlfriend to me. I scrolled through my cellhpone and found nobody I could talk to. I didn't want to get knocked back my the similar comments from other people. I phoned up an on-call counsellor. Kristi the girl next door came to my recue. I cried and told here that nobody want to talk to me and I hated Valentine Day even more. People're full themselves and attempting an unattainable fantasy. Valentine's day is a saint's day. The day was supposed to remind us of guy who die of a slow and painful dead for his believes. Lastime I checked a saint day is a somber affair almost like a memorial. It has nothing to do with an invented Hallmark Holiday and fluffy and pink stuffs. Why don't they just go a mass or go for a confession to confess the lies and wrongdoings they all inflicted upon their friends, their partners and possible family.

Ealier I ran into KennyD. I was on his way back from the gym. We chatted like when we were friends. We smile at each other. He is still that nice guy I fell in love with. But things have changed and I am missing him even more. I am missing his touches and kisses. I do want to graduate from this eternal nightmare I am experiencing right now, but stop think about KennyD and what we had together is gonna feel like those things did matter and stopping thinking about him means stop loving him. There must be other ways that I can channel this love into a beautiful friendship I experienced when I first met this man so many years ago.