Finally woken

cayde's picture

I am still coping with my hang over and in digest, I got from my ordinary day at school. I went to a business school organized workshop. I needed an inspiration and a wake up about my future career. Three very fine motivational speakers, delivered a first batch of wake up call that day. I got more than I bargain for. The last speaker of the day were talking about how one could courage themself toward a desirable goal in life, whether it is personal or professional fullfillments. She reminded us to de-attach ourselves from anythings hurtful, whether it is a negative comments or internalized nagativity. That was the only message I am gonna remember from that day. DE-ATTACH!

After the workshop we were inivited to join lecturing team a trendy Merchanty city eatery for a few drinks. Only a few bottles too many, I think I consumed in excess of a two pints of White Wine. I getting to know other kids from my own schools and other. I was talking (embraressingly enough) about my break-up. I was deliberately trying to be ambigous. I used the word we and passive sentences a lot. And one the boys, just sliped his tongue and said "How did you go out with him for?" I was shocked at first, but later I admired his ability to see ambigiousty.After we ran out of wine we had dinner together and a few more drinks. It was boring actually because I am still yet to find myown feet and to know these guys. There is another meeting, possibly somethings to do with social actions and leadership on Monday afternoon. I think I am going to join them.

I went to see my therapist. We talked KennyD and how lonely I could be somethings. He recommended I should go on an LGBTQ Community Center nightout. To be honest I don't need the scene right now, plus I didn't like that place and guess I am gonna choose not to have anythings to do with it. I think I am really really arrogant. I never felt comfortable it, for very vague reasons, may be it somethings to with crumbling walls, dated decor and I am feeling like I am reduced to just another "faggot".