"friends"

shyguy3135's picture

Ok, im sure may of you have already gone through this. I came out to my "friends", and they were cool with it for a week. Then they started to act odd. They acted weird around me but when asked what was wrong they refused to say. And now, one of my "friends" hates me because i stopped talking to her because she kept saying I came out for attention, and im having an awkward time with another "friend". I am really sick of all of them. Any suggestions for a 14 year old guy with no gay friends and surrounded by "freinds" that are awkward to be with 24/7???

savanh_person's picture

hmmmmm....damn this could be

hmmmmm....damn this could be hard...ummm..i would say get new friends but i assume that you are really closer to them...so i say talk to them about it like ask them if they are ok with it repeatedly.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to DANCE IN THE RAIN."

shyguy3135's picture

Honestly, they have never bee

Honestly, they have never been that great, but my greatest fear is that I'll be alone for my whole life and so they can sort-of fill the fear. At this point, just leaving them may be better.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Robert Heinlein

Allie's picture

maybe they just need time to

maybe they just need time to get used to the fact. Don't give up on them yet, but at the same time accept that things are a bit odd right now between you. Still do things with them but now would probably not be a good time to say, invite people to a sleepover or something. Hope that helped.
Allie

Alucard_Lover's picture

Oh,buckle up for more awkward

Oh,buckle up for more awkward moments;they make for a large portion of the coming out process.However,I hope my condolence helps.Hope it gets better;brace yourself for the worst,though.

Hyacinthus's picture

there are several things

Well shyguy3135, there are several things I can recommend, being in a very similar situation myself. Firstly, the best thing to do is to give them time to get used to you being gay. I know from experience that that it will take them a while to adjust. It sure did for all my friends, and they're still not fully comfortable around me. Your second option is to try and make new friends who are gay. This can be a more difficult road since it all depends on whether there's an organization like a GSA through which you can meet new people in your community. I mean you could simply go out and try and find some people at your school or community that are gay. But sometimes that can be hard to do if you live in a small community, or what that is extremely conservative. I hope your friends get over this and accept you! It really is hard to be friends with them when they are like this! Best wishes

"The French are glad to die for love, they delight in fighting duels. But I like a man who lives, and gives expensive jewels"

Cleopatra's picture

when I came out to my 'friend

when I came out to my 'friends', some took it well(but after a few days they started not hanging out with me), some took it with violent reactions like "OMG?! You're a bi?!!!! That's just not-so-normal and good", "eww" and other stuff that make you feel inferior, and some were cool with it, and still accepted me for who I am.

I stoppped hanging out with the 'friends' that reacted violently and just can't accept me for who I am because I know I would just feel awkward when I'm around them.

Well, I think you still have to observe your 'friends' for some days and decide on your verdict: to continue hanging out with them or find a new clique of friends(which would rather be hard, but possibly rewarding). Because some people take sometime before news actually sink in(especially if they have been your friends for years already), that's why you have to observe them. If their treatment on you doesn't change for 1 or 2 weeks, then there's a problem, but if their treatment changes after a week or so, then it just meant that they needed time to really accept who you are. You have to understand them of course, for acting that way (if they have been your friends for years) because they thought that they knew who your really are, and that they thought that you are not hiding secrets from them since you've been friends forever, right? hope this helps..

"You have to take risks...We will only understand the miracle of life fully if we allow the unexpected to happen."
-Paulo Coelho

CocoV's picture

You said that your friends we

You said that your friends were never that great in the first place...I say that you should dump them. Friends are important, and half-ass friends might as well be enemies. If these were real friends, which they don't seem to be, I'd say give them time and give them time to adjust. However, they're not; thus they're not worth your time. Perhaps you could try going to a gay youth group of some sort. My best friend attends one, and it's helped him. He doesn't have any real friends at school (we now live in different states). However, I think he's happier having a few true friends than pseudo-friends. I'm sure there is someone at your school whom you can make friends with who will be truly understanding.

"Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it just to reach you..." --John Lennon