insight into some of my lonliness...

formula_truth_love's picture

Well i talked to my therapist today and at first i was working up the courage to start talking of my attractions to her and my teacher Lisa. Well i talked about how i was ashamed and all that i am young and see them as beautiful. Well we talked about how i shouldn't feel bad because it wasn't wrong that she thinks Lisa's pretty. She thinks that other girls at my school are pretty she said also maybe i feel that way because i may take it a little farther than thinking they are pretty in my mind. I don't really but i guess the fact that yes i want to be held by them i don't want anything sexual or to be with them as girlfriend or anything. Just that they care. She said maybe i feel this way because i remember when i was little and my mother used to hold me i never felt comforted by it but whenever my teacher Lisa gives me a hug or something in those few moments i feel complete. Also talked about how i need to be more assertive with things because i told her how i wasn't going to ask her to meet today because i didn't want to bother or take up time that someone else needed more. So she said yes i do need to be more assertive but that i don't realize how assertive i am already. So she said that my assignment was that for Monday i have to ask her to talk. Well i guess that is it except i think what kinda helped when i was sitting there at first is that it was my therapist birthday today she turned 31. Well she got an ipod for her birthday and she was showing it to me it was cute one of the mini ones. Well i really can't wait till school Monday because i really do like therapy because it helps alot in my problems. I just wish Monday wasn't one of my most busy days because i have history gym spanish. I just hate that my free periods not free but to do other academics like english math science aren't right together so i can have therapy for a little longer. So i was thinking one of my free periods is before gym so i just won't do gym Monday and take those two periods. Well have a great weekend everyone and be safe.

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Music Is 1337's picture

I get what you mean when you

I get what you mean when you talk about how you feel with your teacher and therapist. I wouldn't have a week ago, but I do now. ^-^ I met my french teacher for next year, Madame Mahna, and I totally feel that way with her. It's like... a want for a strong, maternal influence which I lack in my life.

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"Every artist is a cannibal,
every poet is a thief.
All kill their inspiration,
and sing about their grief." - Acrobat, U2