God my life is so boring!
I started writing this little post to get some thoughts out, and realised that the only things I have to write about are identical to my last post. At least in general.
- Something happening when being drunk
- Something related to work
- Something random at home
I should probably make my life more exciting. But when is there time? And how would I do it anyway? Time is either spent at school (where I do nothing), in front of the computer, or at work (where I'd have to earn the money to do anything exciting anyway).
When we're young we always talk about what we want to do when we're older. It's funny, isn't it, how when you're 7-8 you want to be a world famous footballer, an astronaut or very rich fashion designer. And when you're 7 or 8 those things seem perfectly within reach. And yet, as we get older, the effort/hope is slowly sucked out of us. We face the realisation that to get those jobs you have to get qualifications. And they take years to obtain, and before you know it, you're stuck in a part time job thinking about how expensive it's going to be to live on your own, your grades start to slip, and you've discovered that becoming an astronaut or world famous footballer is now a little out of reach to say the least.
I look at myself objectively now. I smoke, I drink, and I work in a supermarket. I'm doing seriously shit at school, almost to the point of no return, and I have missed the deadline of university so I can't go for another 12 months even if I wanted to. I don't know what I want to be, what I want to do, what I want to learn, or where I want to go. I have no passion for anything, I just shuffle from one week to the next, flipping the pages of the calendar, concentrating on what shift I'm doing next week, or the newest spot that's appeared on my face. Now even if I could be an astronaut, I wouldn't do it because you realise it's not all flying around in space. I also realise I hate football, and if you want to be an A-class singer/actor, you have to be able to actually sing and act (and a lot of luck). Another part of growing up, is you realise that NOT everyone can actually do these things (like the movies would have you believe).
I guess what I'm summarising in such a self-piteous way is life. I know it effects us all, and at points we all hate it and at other points we all love it.
For me though right now I just haven't come across any points I've loved. No fluffy memories which make me smile. No amazing scenes. Not that it's been a terribly shit life or anything. Just...average and, I guess, relatively bland. Or maybe I have seen amazing things and I'm just an arsehole who doesn't appreciate them?
Oh fuck it, I'll pour another Baileys.