URGENT needing advice guy problems..

gothic_gay_boi013's picture

you see me and my bf have been together about 6 months and so much trouble has come up.. we try to work things out and it always fails.. there have been stories of him with other girls yet he swears up and down to me he is gay.. im not so sure if i can continue to believe him.. he even forcibly neglects me.. he tells me that i a need to stop questioning him and trust him.. and i need to stop arguing with him when he wont help me understand what is going on.. i mean even his actions are suspicious.. he has to have alone time when he disappears on a bike for 3 hours or more when you can even call his cell.. always talking to girls through text messages.. his exgf tells me to leave him or she will make my life hell and that he doesnt even want me around... i dont know what to do anymore...

help me please...


Cleopatra's picture

well, i really dunno dude,

If i were in your shoes, I would leave him for good. You see, he has ignored you and his ex gf is threatening you already. he has caused much trouble to you. eventhough i love him(then again, this is what i would do if i were you),i would leave him because he wasn't the only one who has hurt me, but also his ex gf (who shouldn't be nosing around because she's his past).

I dunno if this will help you, but this is what I'll do if I were in your shoes...Then again it's your choice on what to do and what not to. Hope this helps.

you have to take risks...we will only understand the miracle of life fully if we allow the unexpected to happen- paulo coelho

jeff's picture


Leave out the external elements (his ex-gf, etc.) and just focus on the two of you.

For a relationship to work, you need both trust and communication. If his lack of communication causes your lack of trust, it isn't going to work in the long run.

So, tell him that. Not that you're breaking up with him, but why he is putting you in a position to wonder whether that is where this is all headed.

See if it causes him to open up more.

gothic_gay_boi013's picture

thanks ill try tips and i let

thanks ill try tips and i let you know what happens..

oldfoxbob's picture

leave him if you want

but dont leave him on a sour note. Just let him
go off on his own. Afterall you don't own him.
It sounds like you expect him to be with you
24/7. It sounds like you are clinging onto him for
dear life. Let him go. Let him have some time
to himself. Maybe he goes off and jacks off to
a fantisy that he is afraid to tell you about. That
is normal. No relationship is going to last with
out some level of trust. My lover and I have been
together for 16 years, and let me tell you there
have been lots of rocks in the road together.
So advise to you. Let him have his time and if it end
s then so what. You lived and learned and live to
love again with someone new. You would have had
the "experience" you so desire. There are lots of
people out there for you to still find a good
and long lasting love. It took me 15 times befor
I found the one I am with now for so long.
Old fox bob (denver)

Hurt's picture

Crush Problems

My crush says he likes me. But that's only when I'm talking to him alone without any of his friends around. If he's with one of his friends, he's a total jerk. Not even a jerk, he's a compleate ass (excuse my language) he calls me terrible names and makes me feel like crap. What can I do to either get over him or get him to stop being a jerk?

wilma wonka's picture

whenever I have crush problems...

I aviod her as much as possible and the crush I have on her goes away. If someone's only going to be your friend/boyfriend when it's convenent for them then the relationship won't work out anyways so try to stop crushing on him, if that's possible.

"gay: cheerful and lighthearted; merry." - The American Heritage Dictionary.

jeff's picture


Sounds like he's not cool with being a mo yet, so he can be gay around you, but as soon as other people around, he has to make you the fag to show he's not. Well, tell him he doesn't have to hold your hand in public, but if he keeps disrepsecting you, you won't be able to stay friends (or whatever else) with him. If he's that closeted, he'll have to weigh the odds of finding someone else he likes while being in the closet. I mean, it's never made much sense to me why, if you know he's a fag and can use that against him, that he would provoke you publicly.

But, talk with him, call him on his bullshit, and tell him he has to change his way or get out of your life.

Also, for the future, better to start a new forum topic than post a new message in a year-old one. But we'll help you however you do it. :-)

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

Duncan's picture

I'mm sorry, hun. But I think

I'mm sorry, hun. But I think it may be time to have a big talk. And if that doesn't work, then it's time to break. I know how you feel about him, but it's time to break if he can't, you know, stay true. Guys or girls, it's immaterial. He needs to stay true to you.

Courage is contagious... be strong, and soon you won't be standing alone.

joemondragon's picture

I'm going to have to side

I'm going to have to side with duncan here. Have a deep talk, and if at the end, you aren't satisfied, break up. Harsh, but it sounds like the best plan.

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris