Well, at school today I almost came out to everyone.
It all started when Ting and I were having a conversation, and Daniel joined in and started saying "I agree" to everything. Then I was like "Daniel's gay". Then he went "I agree" as well lol. Then not even that, he added "I like boys" after that. Then I thought this was a time to kind of drop a hint on my homosexuality and I said "Yeah I like boys too". Then Daniel probably picked something up from my voice and said "I was joking and you're actually serious". Before I could react, these girls Daniel know came close and he was shouting at them saying "This guy's gay!" and pointing to me lol. They came and asked me "Are you gay?" and despite a lot of my friends watching, my reflective instinct said "Yeah, I am". Then they started asking all these questions like "what's the latest fashion" and whether I shave my legs and whether I'm the "gay-gay guy in a gay relationship" or the "straight-gay guy in a gay relationship" lol. Does show how much stereotype there are. I got dragged by Daniel (not physically) to the steps and sat down. The girl's are still quite amused I guess. They started calling me Maxine, and they were like "wow this must be a first at this school". I feel great actually cause someone cares about my sexuality, but on the other hand Daniel and everyone else (my friends included) thinks this as a prank I'm playing. Then I saw Ting's expression and he thinks I'm calling myself gay to get to the girls. If I don't stop, everyone will start distancing away. Nixon and Robert got a bit "jealous" at me I guess. Then all these people started ignoring me kind of. I can't be out with all these people pushing guilt on me. I just look like a pimp. In their eyes, it looks like I turned "gay" overnight so I can get closer to the girls. Ting said this to me at lunchtime "Three blonde chicks are all over you because you're gay, damn I want to be gay now too". That actually hurt. Mike actually asked me a serious question though. He was like "If you're gay now and guys tried to get on you, what would you do?". I answer his question by "Depends who" and he started pointing at guys and going "What about that guy?", "or that guy?" lol. Bah, but all my friends started using the word "gay" a LOT and acted all homophobic and kind of ignoring me. All that shit made me withdrew myself from this little group (the girls I met today) that was about to form. I had like one or two people come up to me later in the day and going "hey I heard that you're gay" and I replied "Yeah I am". Ryan and Kevin and a lot of other people thought I was trying to be a pimp (everyone thought that actually), although Ryan did overhear something about them mentioning my queerness. It's all very very screwed. I just thought that I found some people that I can speak how I feel to face to face, because they can relate with the crushes on the same sex (boys). However, I just don't want to be seen as trying to "abuse" my 'new-found-homosexuality'. -And to not do that, it seems like I have to "prove" my homosexuality to them. This sucks.