So today my sister asked if I was a lesbian! Holy off guard! We were just watching TV and talking about guys in my school and stuff and she was saying how she can't believe that I'm not really into guys at my age. Then she just asked "are you a lesbian?" I could feel myself go red (I hope she didn't notice) and then I just quickly said that I just don't like the guys at my school, because it is a small school so its not like I have much to choose from. Then she just said "so you do like guys then?" and I said yes because it seemed like it was what she wanted to hear and it seemed to comfort her. She asked the question in a joking way, but it sounded clear that she really wanted to know. I know it was the perfect opportunity to come out to her, but I think it would dissappoint her and I don't want anyone in my family to know.
Now, even with this latest event, I've made the decision that I am going to stop censoring myself so much (uhh but maybe I still will around my sister and family). I'm not going to flat out come out, but I am going to start letting myself be more me. If that happens to give people the idea that I'm gay then okay. I'm just so sick of not being able to be comfortable whenever I'm around people because they might question, but I am still way too afraid to come out yet. I'm hoping I will be able to tell at least some of my friends before the school year is over though. But I am planning on never telling my parents. If they find out in the (hopefully) way distant future, then they most likely will not be finding out from me.