Age Difference Advice

DarkStorm's picture


I'm 19 turning 20 in September; this girl that really likes me is just turning 17 in May. Would it be too big of an age difference to date each other legally? I've often in my life-time turned down potential opportunities of age differences of even 1-2 years. This one appears to be an even greater difference, which is why I am here asking for advice. Sorry for asking such a dumb question. I just need advice to prevent myself doing this for the rest of my life, I hope someone here can answer me question. Thanks ever so much in advance!

starting_over's picture

well, legally is something yo

well, legally is something you have to look into. it depends on your state for same sex couples and if tthats what you worried about then it all has to do with what is the age of consent and stuff like that. socially, the diffrence of a couple years isn't a big deal but you might want to be careful for the legal aspects of it

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle

greenmind's picture

Age doesn't matter, you can n

Age doesn't matter, you can not help when you were born, no one can.
Plus what is a little difference in age? It keeps things interesting, eh?
~Thank you for the memories, a keepsake in my heart.

Allie's picture

I would say don't worry so mu

I would say don't worry so much about the age as if you like her back. Also other things to consider, are you going to be going away to college soon? Of course, you should check into any laws about the age of consent, but I don't think those laws apply to dating so much as having sex, so as long as you're willing to wait you should be fine.

Dim's picture


To me, age is just a number.
It all depends on the person. Sometimes a 30 year old can be less mature than a 16 year old.. and so on.

All the guys I've met have been older than me, from 2 years to 6 years older.. But then again, I like them a bit older.

Just do what you think is right for you. ;)


jeff's picture


Depends where you live, can find out at

I do think three years is not a huge age difference, but that three years will probably never have as wide a gap as it does at your ages. The odds are that it will break you up at some point, when you're in college and she's still in high school, etc.

But you asked legally, so check that website.

fuzi's picture

As for legality, check ageofc

As for legality, check
It isn't a huge age gap, although it may seem it. When I was 16, I dated a girl who was 18 1/2, and while it worked for a while, that fact that she was in college and I was in highschool made it difficult, and it didn't last long. You might have better luck.


twitch's picture

I don't think its a problem -

I don't think its a problem - I've considered a relationship with someone 6 years older than me though... so I guess its kindof a different story.

~ A Tiger in a Cage + Never Sees the Sun ~

loverboy87's picture

I find myself haveing the sam

I find myself haveing the same 18 hes 16. I love him a lot and he loves me but will the age of consent laws ever get in the way? Makes me worry sometimes.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

jeff's picture

It depends...

Basically, if he's closeted and illegal in your state, his parents can prosecute you and win easily. Even if he refuses to testify, any proof that you previously had sex once could constitute statutory rape.

It seems strange how often people brush this off because the younger is OK with it, which of course, is the whole point of age of consent laws. If they are illegal according to the law, your consensual sex is legally statutory rape.

RainbowCommie's picture

Dating or sex?

No matter what the law is, if you don't have sex, you haven't broken the law. Apart than that, others have said everything else.

Change is the only constant.
Even if you win the race, you're still a rat.
Workers of the world unite: you have nothing but your chains to lose, and you have a world to win.
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nickywicz's picture

im 15 my ex bf was 19. it wor

im 15 my ex bf was 19. it worked out for 2months then kaput.


When i breathe in. I breathe in peace. When I breathe out. I breathe out love.

DarkStorm's picture

In reply to the responces to my question

Thank you everyone that posted a response to my question. All of your responses were very useful; I now truly understand what I should do. It's always nice to see/know that people like all of you are out there. I mean, like good people that care enough to go out of there way to help others :)

Adam A's picture

not really

i'm 18 the guy i like is 21 and his boyfriend is 29, now that's fucked up!
take care

oldfoxbob's picture

age dif, is no diff

My other half and I are 16 years apart. However
dating is one thing, having sex is another.
Go ahead and date, such as the movies, dinner, etc.
Just don't go to bed with each other until legal
age is obtained for the younger of you two. Also
check at the library on age of consent in your state
as it does vary from state to state. In kentuckey
it is 14, in kansas its 12 I think, In alaska its
17 and so on. Ask a person who is a lawyer that
question or call your local gay outreach center
in your town or the larger citys in your state.
They will know.
Oldfox bob

Leanne87's picture

age doesn't matter

when two people are attractewd to each other, age shouldn't matter. im a 19yr old girl and my gf is 16...we get on perfectly and have no problems regarding age. go for it. good luck. x

Happyperson01's picture

I think you should watch Haro

I think you should watch Harold and Maude.

Panic Motion's picture

If there's grass on the field.

Great Movie. Perfect example lol.

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CaliDude's picture


I am 16 years old, my ex boyfriend was 19, things lasted a few months, then things died between us. But I don't think the age difference between you and the girl that likes you is that big of an age difference. Actually under the law the two of you can date, I know a straight girl who is 16 years old and she is dating a 21 year old, normally people would think that would be a big age difference, but since they are both devote Christians, people oddly look past the age difference. But I think the only legal problem the two of you can have is if you were to have sex since she is under 18 years of age. But I hope things go well with you and this girl.

Barralai's picture

The oldest you can date is tw

The oldest you can date is twice your age minus five, so like if your 15, its 15 x 2 = 30 - 7 = 23, so the oldest a 15 yr old could date is 23, this is the blanket rule all my female friends use, and i think its just sorta funny, but no i dont think a 20 and a 17 year old is to much

The Incredible Barralai & His ATTACK cat Killer!

xprincessxaurora's picture

The age differance might be a

The age differance might be a problem... I'm 15 and I dated a 18 year old and my parents wanted to press charges cuz we had ran away together...overall we are broken up because she stayed up where we ran away to and I don't want to risk her going to jail....

Gerardo's picture


I feel hopeless because I can't stand adolescant gay males. I would much rather date someone who is a bit older...

"Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals -- the two things seem to go together."
-Pat Robertson

Hyacinthus's picture

I think

I think you're ok age-wise because i think you guys fall into the right year gap. (i think it's like 5 years when you're in other words you can't date a 15 year old but older is ok) But what really matters in maturity. Is she mature enough for you? Well I hope everything works out alright!

"Persuasive speech, and more persuasive sighs,
Silence that spoke, and eloquence of eyes."
- The Iliad (bk. XX, l. 315), (Bryant's translation)