best friends~

Adam A's picture

i'm exclusively gay and a male, and my best friend is an extremely homophobic but awesome guy who i love very much (in a non-sexual way, we're like brothers). about 3 days ago i told him i was gay and he took it suprisingly wel. and since then i've seen him twice for two fairly long and very in depth conversation about where we stand and what my being gay means to our friendship and what his boundaries are (being homophobic he makes a lot of gay jokes that i find offensive so i asked him to stop, but really he's being so good about it). the bitch part of this story is this, every time we talk, no matter how in depth and what i manage to dig out of him (tonight he confessed that he loves me (again brotherlike friendship)), everytime we talk it's like we're taking one step foward and two steps back! i think that maybe i'm being too honest, he wants to ask me questions that he's just not ready for the answers to. and he wants me to be honest, i've been lying to him about my being gay for four yers, i'm not about to start lying all over again, so i answer his questions and it just seems to take him furher and further back! AHH HTHIS IS SO ANNOYING!


jeff's picture


That's his process. You took four years to tell him, and now his acceptance is through asking too many questions.

I think it is all steps forward, though, since every step means he knows you're into guys at this point. How many steps this needs to take? No way to know...

Adam A's picture


ohh, so wise, thank you! seriously, i'm nto really sure how he's going, it just feels like 1 foward 2 back, but he just does the most suprising things like asking me if i'm ok and telling me he loves me, it's not somethign he would have ever done in the past. i guesss maybe it's a good thing, he let his defences down a bit, he texted me last night after i wrote the article when he was supposed to be "christening his car" with his girlfriend, thought that was clightly creepy but....nice to know i'm being thought about?! lol