I Dont Know if im gay but i think im

imsoooobored's picture

i dont know if im gay but i think im. im in middle school but i dont know if im and i need to know because there is a dance coming up and i need to know. Can someone help me

sugarmagnolia's picture

hang in there, knowing is jus

hang in there, knowing is just a matter of figuring out who you're really attracted to. and though there might seem like a lot of pressure to know right now, you're perfectly free to take your time. i didn't fully realize i was gay until sophomore year in college, and the thought didn't even cross my mind before senior year in highschool.

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

imsoooobored's picture

i dont know

i dont know who im attracted to and im affraid if i came out everyone would make fun of me because im a guy that likes guys so i dont know. i still need help. Could I be bi. idk i still need help with my first question

Adam A's picture


ok, just ask u'rself this. does the thought of having sex with men excite you or does the thought of having sex with females excite you?
depending on whether u'r a boy or girl, i think you can work it out from there. oh if if the answer is yes to both parts of that question, u'r bi

take care and good luck!

dreamers imagine someday's picture

Kid, you are only in middle s

Kid, you are only in middle school, there is no need to know yet. Just go to the dance and go with what you feel.

I use to be Someday's Dreamer but something happened to my account. Kaorin is not a fangirl of Sakaki, the last episode of Azumanga Daioh is all you need as proof.

hellonwheels's picture

dude, take ur time...

What's the rush to 'know'? Just because u r in middle school, don't worry about it that much...you have a long time until it will really affect you. don't feel the need to come out just yet- go to the dance and have fun w/ ur friends...it shouldn't all be about sexuality in junior high...have fun and don't let it worry you so much...just enjoy yourself and let whether your gay, str8, or bi work itself out in due time...
Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Barralai's picture

From a post "Twitch" made a l

From a post "Twitch" made a long time ago...

"I emailed the GLNH. which you can also call or email your own versionin, with a similar question a while ago, and they sent me this response... hope it helps!

We want to congratulate you for writing to us about what is going on in your life and for reaching out to discuss your feelings. I can assure you that you are not alone, and many guys your age think they may be gay but aren't really sure.

Naturally, here at the GLBT National Help Center we can't say if you are gay, or bisexual or straight. That is something that only you can recognize and accept in yourself. But it may help you to know that just about all experts believe someone's sexuality, whether they are gay or straight or bisexual, is something they are either born with or is something that develops within the first few years of each person's life. No one ever makes a choice to be gay, bisexual or straight, it is just one part of who you are. Those experts in human sexuality believe that being gay, lesbian or bisexual is just as normal for some people as being straight is for others. Perhaps it isn't as common, but it is just as normal.

If you are wondering if you may be gay, it may help to ask yourself what your feelings would be if most of society was more accepting of people who weren't straight. For a few minutes forget everything you've been told about being gay or bisexual, forget the stereotypes about feminine males or masculine females, or that it is "wrong" or "disgusting" to have sexual feelings for someone of the same sex, and then ask yourself if you honestly are attracted to the same sex. Don't fight your feelings, whatever they are. And when people have strong attractions for an extended period of time, it isn't a "phase" but is simply just the normal way you feel, and probably always will.

Another thing that might be helpful is to realize that you don't have to stick a label (gay, bi, straight) on your feelings right now. You might find it less stressful to take a step back from that, and instead just take things one day at a time and see where your feelings naturally lead you. You really don't need to come to some huge understanding about it immediately.

Also, being physically attracted toward someone of the same gender or having sex are not the only things that defines someone as being gay or bisexual. For many people, being gay or bisexual relates to feeling an emotional attraction and connection toward someone of the same gender, as well as a physical attraction.

You mentioned that you don't want to come out of the closet and then find out you are wrong. It may be helpful to know that for many people "coming out" and accepting that they are gay or bisexual, is multi-step process. Many people begin by understanding and accepting to themselves that they are gay, and once they feel comfortable (and sure) about being gay many then talk with others about being gay. Some people talk about being gay with other gay people, or with close friends (both gay and straight) they have known a long time, or with trusted family members.

Many people who come out find that talking with others can be an exciting and liberating experience, and they are surprised by the support they receive. Often it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you feel good because you don't have to lie about yourself and your feelings. But obviously, everyone's experiences are different.

It may also help to meet and talk with some gay, lesbian and bisexual people. In many cities there are support groups or other social outlets for gay people, including groups for teenagers. Here at the GLBT National Help Center we have a lot of local resources for all over the country (about 18,000 of them). If you think it would be helpful to find out about some support or social groups in your area, we can check that for you. Please reply back with your city and state and we can check our records and email you with whatever information we might find.

Many gay, bisexual or questioning people have found support through Internet online chat rooms. You do have to be careful when dealing with strangers in a chat room, but it is a good way to possibly meet other people and discuss your situation.

On the Internet you can also find many sites for gay people. Please go on line to sites including www.gay.com and www.Planetout.com . You can also go to our website at www.GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org and click into "Find Resources" and continue and click into "National Organizations." You will find the web sites for many organizations for youth, religious, general and others.

It may also help to call one of our two toll-free hotlines, to speak with a trained volunteer. The first is called the GLBT National Youth Talkline; that phone number is 1-800-246-PRIDE (1-800-246-7743), and calls are answered Monday thru Saturday from 9:30pm to midnight, eastern time. It's for callers up to age 25.

We also have a second hotline that has longer hours, and is for people of any age (both youth and adults). That hotline is called the Gay & Lesbian National Hotline, and the toll-free hotline number is 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564) and calls are answered Monday through Friday, from 4pm to midnight and Saturday from noon to 5pm, eastern time.

Good luck, and if we can be of any other help, please just let us know.

didn't do too much for me overall - but maybe it'll help you?"

End Twitchs post, i hope it helps

The Incredible Barralai & His ATTACK cat!

savanh_person's picture

i would go with what most peo

i would go with what most people said in here....just don't worry a.b it now...it will come to you eventually...just og and have fun at the dance and what not

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to DANCE IN THE RAIN."

shinedownkicksyouras's picture

Why rush trying to figure it

Why rush trying to figure it out. It'll come naturally. Your still young, go with friends to the dance, you don't need togo with someone if you don't want to. I am graduating this year and still ahve hardly any cluse who i really like and for grad all of us are going together you have way more fun places if you are not tied to a date.

Don't feel the need to define me...I can define myslef

Duncan's picture

Don't worry man. Go to the da

Don't worry man. Go to the dance with whoever you wanna. And as for your sexuality, you'll figure it out. Sometimes you'll feel confused. Hell, I know I'm gay but sometimes I start to wonder. Let it happen on it's own.

trevor's picture

i am in 11th grade and i am

i am in 11th grade and i am pretty sure im gay so i came out to my mom and she pretty much shunned me for it so im really confused right now plus an ex g/f wants me back (note me and the ex have never had sex) so im really confused and depressed and hurt because of my mom. i am attractde to guys but every once in a while i think of being with a girl but the thought of sex with a girl makes me sick so yeah im really confused too.

Neutrina's picture

Something to keep in mind

About bad reactions: think about how long you've had to come to terms with it. Your mom will get used to it eventually, but remember that it's probably a big shock, not only "Oh, he likes boys", but "Oh, I'll never have grandkids and he'll never get married and oh what if he's going to Hell oh no oh no" etc., etc. Yeah, I know, it's not entirely true, but it's still a likely thought process. I don't know if that helped, but it might make it easier for you to think about why, so you know that it will get better.

Also, don't worry about labeling yourself. If you mostly like guys, great. If there's a special girl who happens to catch your interest, go for it. Really. Labels just make things confusing. Also, you're allowed to date someone without ever planning to have sex with them. You mentioned that the idea of sex with girls disgusts you; so if you ever want to date a girl, don't worry about sleeping with her.

I hope things get better for you.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

1stTeeka's picture

it might help

1. dont worry about your mom. It can be hard for aprents to understand, and eventually she'll get over it.
2. You need to sort out your feelings. the reason you keep thinking every now and then about being with a girl might be because your afraid of what you may have to face. Take your time, its best for you to come out to people at a time of your choosing, you sont have to let people know if you dont want to.

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

wild-blue-yonder's picture

Don't worry.

Don't worry. Eventually, you'll know. Until then, why stress about it. I'm sure you have other, more productive things to worry over.

And why make the dance some kind of deadline? I've been questioning for a while; since then, 3 middle school and 16 high school dances have come and gone. None was particularly important with regards to me figuring out my sexual orientation. Just go with whoever, or go alone, whoever you're comfortable/happy with, and enjoy the dance for the dance's sake. There will be more, won't there?