Little Bits

SilentBlue's picture

I've started to drop little hints and stop censoring myself so much. Actually, less dropping hints than just not being worried about people finding out. I'm trying to just let go and not even think about what I do that might be seen as gay and just be natural. It's going to take some time after almost 4 years of being careful of what might make people suspicious. I've been finding it the most difficult to not conform to what people expect me to be like. Changing in high school has to be done in baby steps or people freak out and push you back into the way you were, they think you should be.

It's kind of funny the way people who talk to me say things about me that just scream lesbian, yet no one has questioned me but my sister and she was not even entirely serious (I don't think) It's like they just don't want to see it and admit that I could possibly like girls, it doesn't fit into what they think of me. I don't know....maybe it's just that I'm not as obvious as I thought.

Comments

Adam A's picture

4 years

i kept my homosexuality a secret for four years, but i defended it like crazy, absolutely nobody suspecte. i only recently came out to my friends, not yet to parents, but i should do it, at least before they die....
i know what you mean though, i think when ppl don't want ot believe something, they wont, even if it stares them right in the face. i think it's good for you, go offguard for a while, take a break, i just think that if u'r in highschool, maybe comming out is a little bit "dangerous", lesbians and gays aren't exactly treated like prince and princesses at highschool, i came out a month after i started uni, but it was only coz i kind of fell in love with a guy, otherwise i would have probably held on to it for a while longer, after four years it kind of bursts out of you, i'm sure you know what i mean.
of course, it shouldn't be an issue at all, we shouldn't have to even make a point of it.