that smile of hers is going to kill me...

bratalamay's picture

i swear, that smile is going to be my downfall. to bring up to speed those of u who r new or havent followed my journal, this is the girl who told me she might be bi, we started "going out", then she turned around and spread a rumor around the whole school that i was a lesbian (which i am, i just wasnt entirely positive about it at that time :). it was kind of awkward b/w us for a while after that, especially once i got up the nerve to talk to her again (just simple witty banter every now and then type thing). so i was IMing her last night and i said "would u think of us more as friends or accquaintences (sp?)?" she said "idk." but we ended up agreeing that it wouldn't be TOO awkward for us to be friends (-:!!!:-). so after school today, i was gathering stuff from my locker to go home, and she and one or two of her friends (i dont know for sure, they werent what i was looking at ;-) and i waved goodbye to her and she waved back and SMILED this absolutley wonderful, adorable, heart-melting smile . only problems are: 1. our past experiences, 2.her friends hate me, 3.she probably is bi (not the problem) and she knows im in love w/ someone, she just doesnt know that its HER!!!!! UUUURRRRGGGG!!!!! too confusing :P.
Love,
Me

Comments

hellonwheels's picture

well, that's definitly confusing...

Maybe i haven't kept up on your journal...sounds like a confusing situation...but hey, look on the bright side...she's still friends w/ you and she smiled @ you....good luck figuring that out...
Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

the mouse that roared's picture

mm

Were the rumors malicious? Or was she just like, "Yeah, we were dating." Cause if you wanted to stay closeted or if she was being otherwise disrespectful, then--despite her smile--you might want to consider whether she would be a good friend.

I do know exactly what you mean, however. How many smiles have melted my heart...

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser

French Toast's picture

awwh. Thats totally sucks. So

awwh. Thats totally sucks. So what is this about her spreading rumors? have you confronted her about it. sounds like a nasty thing to do to your friend.

you stuck your thumb into the christmas pie of my brain and pulled out the plum of my innermost dreams!
-the Tick