Advice needed about best friend-and its not the ' i fell for my best friend' problem

Anonymous's picture

ok i dont want to bore you people, but need some advice!

i started uni and i instantly clicked with this girl, not romantically or anything, just friendship wise. So first year we had fun occasioanlly but didnt really see eachother much bc we had diff groups and only had 1 class together. Then in the second year we became alot closer, and by the final year, she would call me everyday at least 2 or 3 times and we'd talk for hours, text me, and we had this joke that we end up speaking every 12 hours, so yeah i thought wow its so great to have this friendship where i dont have to worry about any sexual tension or anything, even though she knows that iv been in love with a girl before. Her husband (yup, she married young-22 and her husbands an asshole) would even comment that she talks so much to me, and my mum wud make jokes saying like doesnt she have a husband to talk yeah we talked ALOT.

Then a couple of months ago we were hanging out, and somehow we got onto the subject of how close we are. She said she tells me everything that happens in her life, and we were just joking around about how sometimes in the morning wen she calls to see where im at and stuff im still asleep and i have to call her back even tho its like 2pm, and how we cant tell ppl what we talk about bc its so lame. I thought it was a really cute convo.

Then literally from that point onwards, she stopped calling, stopped talking to me properly, and just generally avoiding me in all respects. I was busy with my own final year projects so i didnt have time to really get into it, but i still tried calling her quite a few times, but she just never picks up the fone anymore. I bumped into her in Uni, and she gave me the rudest attitude, and i asked her if she had been talking to ppl...she said "yeh just my old school friends, couldnt be bothered to talk to anyone else", which i thought was rude. Out of the blue she called me and went back to being her normal self with me, and even told me to come in next week and meet up....but then she was no where to be seen and didnt even bother picking up her fone, when she finally did she was just so rude , just got of the fone in 10 seconds.

I really miss the friendship, cuz she'd be so caring and cute with me...and now shes just totally avoiding me.

Have any of you guys experienced such a sudden change? Does anyone have any ideas as whats going on? Do you think it was directly related to that convo? I want to talk to her , but she wont pick up her fone, whats a girl to do?

Sunny Rays's picture


I'm sorry, I don't have any ideas. But this has happened to me too. Not these exact circumstances but the same sort of thing. In my case she seemed to realise what she was doing and started to be nicer to me again. You could try to corner her and make her tell you what's up. Hey! I did have an idea! Well, good luck! I hope that it works out.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

the mouse that roared's picture

try talking to her directly

I had a friend that was of-and-on with me, but of course she was always a bit snobby and not the best friend, so it's not quite the same situation, but it did hurt a lot until I learned to let go.

Maybe your friend suddenly got self-conscious or something, or maybe it's something to do with her husband. You can't really know what's going on with her until you try to corner her down and talk to her. She might not be direct with you, but there's no other way to have a chance at knowing. Good luck!

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser