First Step to Utter Happiness

darla07's picture

Everyone knows your hot
Everyone knows I'm cold
You were black
I wear red
You say chuncked
I say threw
You say I love
I say I know you do
Everyone knows what you are
But no one knows your heart
And thats where it all starts

But who knew I liked you
Who knew I think of you
Who knew I desired you the most
Who knew your the reason
Why I can't speak
Your the reason why
I turn guys down
Your the reason why
I never frown
Until tonight you never knew
How much I really cared for you
But now you know
And I feel relieved
Now I can finally breathe free

Here in this room
Stand you and me
Now you know I care
And I'm becoming scared
So tempting is it
To reach out and touch you
I hold back and wait for you
Unsure of what will happen
After I leave this room
I take the first step toward you

Here I am in this
World of safety
Protected by you
And in the moments that follow
All my hopes and dreams
Of me and you are crushed
By a harsh check of reality
That you and me
Can never be
Now I wonder is it fair
That I now ignore your stare
That now I know you too care
I took the first step
But something that was once tempting
Causes me to be so scared

Comments

icequeen18's picture

amazing

truly amazing! Did you come up with this? or where did you get
it?
**
~Edgar Allan Poe~

darla07's picture

No copyright!

Actually I came up with this all by myself.Everything
I write is original.

icequeen18's picture

cool!

you would make a great writer
**
~Edgar Allan Poe~

darla07's picture

THANK YOU!

Awww.....stop it. It's not that great.

the mouse that roared's picture

I like it

:) That's a good poem going on there. I can get into your head really well.

OK, story about being too shy to get with someone: So I was at a folk festival, and I was dancing with this guy, and I was just flirting with him a bit, no huge reason, just because I felt like it. And he reacted hugely, like he hugged me for a long time after the dance was over and kissed me on the forehead. I squeezed his hand and went off to find a new dance partner, but we ended up dancing again pretty soon after that, and then it was like over-the-top flirtation even though I didn't even know this guy, and I didn't even think I was into guys, at least not as much as he was into me.

I was waiting for the bus home that night, and he was there, and he asked me if I wanted to dance this really long dance with him tomorrow, and he was so nervous and shy he could barely get the words out. I said sure, said I had to go get my ride.

The next day, I was there with this used-to-be-close (before I had a huge crush on her and stopped talking to her) friend of mine, and I kept on saying how I was gay, and I guess I was just so mixed up--this guy liked me so much, and he was so sweet and shy--and confused that I didn't know what to do. I danced the long dance with him, and we started walking off together afterwards, and then I said I had to go find my friend, but I would find him later. And after my friend left, I hung out with another girl who "protected" me from my (my words) "out-of-hand" flirtation. I didn't even say goodbye to him--I passed him in the hall as he was leaving with his cousins, and I gave him a vague smile, and that was it.

Thinking back on it, I really should have given it a shot. He lived eight hours away, so it's not like I was getting myself into anything. And I mostly avoided him just because I was nervous. Now I keep on thinking back on him, and he seems really cute. I guess I kind of just used my "gayness" as an excuse.

I guess what I'm saying is don't let your shyness/nervousness get in the way. (Not like I should be talking here.) Would you rather be thinking back on something you were too passive to even pursue or something that you at least tried?

Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser