friend who is cutting/ has disordered eating

Hobbit's picture

so last Sunday night (a week ago) I was really upset so I called one of my friends she was alunderstanding and listened to me crying but then she was like yeah I've felt kinda bleh and fat
lately. so I kind of prodded and we talked about body image and stuff and I got it out of herthat she had made herself throw up once, and that she had also cut herself. I know she needs serious
help; I told my mom, who has a pshycology background on tuesday and we decided I need to get my friend to gotalk to someone, but I need advice on how. I tried on Wednesday, but she wouldn't budge. I didn't
mention the cutting or the throwing up, but I kind of impplied. She is going away to bording schoolso I asked if she wanted to talk to someone about that, and then body image issues. but she said
she would rather just talk to me and our friends. I told her that I could only help her so much, whichshe countered with she could only help me with being GLBTQ so much and I was like that is why I calk
to other people but she wouldn't budge.

I'm want to try again tomarrow, has anyone else been in this situation? how should I approach her?
I don't think she will commit suicide or anything like that anytime soon, but I really need to get
her to talk to someone, any advice would be appreciated.

victoria2995's picture

well she doesnt do it now sh

well she doesnt do it now she did it a while back and only one time so i dont think she really needs help

milee13's picture

Yeah, I have a close friend t

Yeah, I have a close friend that was suicidal at one point, she didn't cut and there was no eating disorder, just some pretty hardcore depression. There was no way that I could get her to talk to someone, her parents wouldn't have gone for letting her talk to anyone and our school wasn't equipped for that kind of thing so i listened to her and tried to reassure her that she wouldn't always be living at home (as most of what had her so upset had to do with her parents)and that how she felt about herself was more important than what her parents thought. I wish that I could have gotten her someone to talk to, a professional that actually knew what they were doing.

I have another friend who cuts and has an eating disorder and is glbtq, his parents found out about the cutting so he's currently seeing someone, but I don't think it's helping which makes me pretty sad. A lot of his behavior is caused by the fact that his dad is very homophobic and he can't really talk about those issues. Things just aren't looking good for him right now.

If you can get your friend to talk to someone that would be the best thing for her. I think there's a difference between talking to your friends about glbtq issues and trying to get them to help you with cutting and an eating disorder, part of being a supportive friend and trying to help her is by letting her know that you think her problems are more than you and your friends are equipped to help her deal with. If she can't understand that, and I hate to say this, but if it persists, you may want to go to her parents.

California--the land of coffee and bagels.

jenevieve's picture

same situation

i know what your going through. my girlfriend was suicidal for a while. she used to cut and had an eating disorder....which was more a suicide attempt (it went on for quite a while before her mum noticed that she wasnt eating and has left her unbelieveably skinny). she doesnt cut anymore but she tends to punch walls instead and goes through incredibly low patches. ive tried telling her she needs to talk to someone. and she agrees.....but she hasnt done anything about it.

my family are pretty much all involved in mental health either because they work within it or because of my brother, who's schitzophrenic and i think im gonna do some research and find some sites/phone numbers for her and give them to her next time she's feeling down. hopefull that'll help.

hope your friend gets some help soon


My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All these women out there praying for a man, and i'm giving them my share. - RMB

Ward's picture

It depends...

You may have jumped to conclusions a little too fast. Although I agree that people who cut themselves (I have a friend who does) and people with eating disorders need professional help, I also think that everyone experiments. If she only did each thing once, she doesn't necessarily need professional help. If she plans to do it again, that's when you get her help. Hope this helped.

~In Loving Memory~ Rest In Peace Poppa, May 13th 1917-- April 15th 2006