Need advice

Lora's picture

Im 15, and have recently discovered that im a lesbian. Iv thought
i was bi since i was 10, when i had my first relationship with another girl.
I told my mum that i was bi at around 13, she told me it was a phase and would
pass. well it hasnt. she never asked me about it or wanted to discuss it.
And now that iv realised im actually a lesbian, i want her to know.
My dad is terribly homophobic, so i cant see myself telling him until im older.
But for now i need some advice on how to tell my mum.

Im finding it really difficult to cope with, so help would be much appreciated!

jeff's picture


Seems like you already set her up for this a while back, so it won't be coming out of nowhere. although, never underestimate how much parents can forget things when they want to hard enough. There will never be an easy way to tell her, it has no graceful transition. Nothing leads them up to it nicely and easily, because once the words are out, whatever you said before that disappears in their mind anyway. So, it's just about building up the courage to do it or, failing that, making yourself tell her through trickery (like if you talk to her on the phone during the day, mentioning you have something to talk about that night, or somesuch, so it's harder to just back out of).

That said, I have to agree with your mom. Your bisexuality was a phase. You're a lesbian now. If you mom has a good sense of humor, you could go that route, although it will probably be funny ONLY to you. :-)

Good luck.

"I could eat a knob at night." -- Karl Pilkington

Lora's picture


Thank you so much for the advice both of you, its good to know i have your support. Any advice on how to tackle my dad when the time is right??

sugarmagnolia's picture

you could try bringing it up

you could try bringing it up by asking her if she remembers when you told her you thought you were bi...

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

raining men's picture


try to keep it quite casual. If you make a big thing out of it, so will she. I mean don't waltz in and sya' by the way Im a lesbo', but don't sit her down and build her up to it. Assume she all ready knows and talk as if its already an accepted fact. if she asks, then just tell her
Break a leg honey

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"

Ward's picture

For your dad...

I can't exactly give you great advice on your dad, because I haven't come out to my dad yet either. But, my dad is also very homophobic, and I find that he is more so about men than women. Not that he likes lesbians or anything, but he's one of those man's man guys (no pun intended). Anyways, I try to bring up the subject sometimes and share my opinions on gay rights. Obviously, he doesn't know I'm gay, just that I have different opinions than his. Sometimes, when peoplle see the facts right in front of their face, their opinions, while they don't drastically change, tend to waver a little. Anyways, good luck!

~In Loving Memory~ Rest In Peace Poppa, May 13th 1917-- April 15th 2006

omari's picture

just start of with a normal topic

just start of with a normal topic and then slowly give clues that suggests u are a lesbian and see if she gets wat u mean and if not then just tell her it honestly and that u are not playin around but u have to be sure u ready for wat she will do moc

boathesnake11's picture

for you're mom

i am 14 and had the same problum. what i did was i practiced and when i was ready, i practeced on my friend. that would tell me if he was a true friend. when i told him i was gay, he took it better than i thought he would. that got my confidence up. then, when mothers day came around, t got her alot of flowers and a card saying that i was gay. the only thing she said was that she loves me for who i am. not who i like. the only advice i can give you is waight for the right minute and don't be affrade. everything will work out. i hope this helps!