should i come out

alya's picture

okay so i am feeling better than i was last time i wrote. the docter gave me n' inhaler they
think i might have athletic asthma , the inhalers realy helping :)
but life gives me yet another dilema .
soo im reaaaaaly good freinds with this girl and shes been like a sister to me like when
mom was really she let me stay at her house for like a couple weeks on and off and i slept in her
bed (she straight nothing happend) but i feel really bad like everyday im lying to the world
and her its keeping me up at night , im out to one person, but i feel really bad i realy want to
tell her but i think she might freak , she might not though i dunno we go to a very librel school
like their ar only a like 5 rebulican famlys and lst not that shes homophobec she & her famlys totally
comfertble but i dunno any advice PLEASE WRITE or ways to tell her

Comments

Trinity88's picture

if you dont feel completely c

if you dont feel completely comfortable until you know where she stands on certain issues, do a little probing. bring up any kind of gay rights issue or something like that..and see how she feels about it. then if you feel she wont freak tell her. if you still feel she will freak but you still feel the overwhelming urge to tell her...start with a disclaimer. i did this for all the people who i thought would freak...and they mostly agreed that it would be stupid to lose a friendship over something that doesnt necessarily effect them. good luck

*I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead, i lift my lids and all is born again. I think i made you up inside my head*

Horizon's picture

A Way

I recommend that you don't tell her, and don't not tell her. Odd I know but I'll try to clarify myself.
It's like you let your guard down with her. If you don't censor yourself to hide your orientation, and you don't push it out in a violent flood it might just flow naturally.
Something like this: The next time an opportunity comes up (IE a moment when you're censoring yourself and would be saying something that feels deceitful), you just say what comes first without the layer of judgment plastered on top and changing it into what you think is acceptable.
I know with myself if I worry about something a lot and try to work out the perfect way to resolve it I'm likely to come up with some brillant unworkable plan.
There's a saying that no plans survive contact with the enemy, and for me it's the tension that builds when I'm close to revealing something/taking a leap that is the enemy. Sometimes it works out fine that way but always with a whole lot of tension, some of which carries over to the other person.
I feel that with close friends I should be able to be myself without trying to be someone who they'll like. I also find that hard to implement in practice. When I do though... Wow. That's when I and they and our relationship is at it's best. To me.

Whatever you choose to do I wish you all the best at it.

Blessed Be

lez and proud 14's picture

i know how you feel

Coming out is so important i was absulutly miserable in the closet.
if she is a good friend she will still treat you the same and if not... well then screw her and she is not worth it. ok so the way i broke it to my bf was i just started wairing a little rainbow here and there, and totally not joining in on the "OMG he is so hot!" conversation's. my friends aventually just asked me and i sayed ya and explained why i was afraid to just jump up and tell them. well good luck!
love; samantha

jeff's picture

Hmm...

I guess it depends on what you're afraid of...

If you are not telling her to preserve your friendship, that's not a good reason, because real friendships don't need lies to keep them together.

If the reason is that she might tell the rest of your classmates, and you're not ready to be out to your school, that is a more valid concern.