siblings and awkwardness

phantasmagoria's picture

hi, i would usually do this as a journal entry, but i need advice, so please
feel free to comment. I did the dumbest thing; i told my sister, who is 12,
that i'm gay. She's very mature for her age and i honestly thought she
already knew- she's always mentioning it.joking about it and stuff, and has
asked me if i was a few times before- this time, however, i stupidly decided to tell her the truth.
She even once mentioned that if i were gay she'd be fine with it, but now she's
being weird and i think she's not comfortable with it and i feel really bad for
telling her when she was happier not knowing, i just stupidly thought she
already knew. I'm not out to my parents, or even all of my friends yet, and
she's open minded and we're pretty close, and i don't know how to make
her feel better about it- i mentioned it could be a phase, and she seems to like
that idea, and i'm wondeing if i should just never mention it again or
if i should try and talk to her- i really sort of wish that i could take it
back, and i hate regretting- help please!

SilentBlue's picture

I think it's fine that you to

I think it's fine that you told her, she just has to get used to probably was still a shock for her, even if she already kind of suspected it. You could try to talk to her now but if she doesn't want to then just leave it for a little while longer, until she can get used to it. She sounds like shes taking it pretty well though, so thats good!

Sarah9486's picture

I think that its now down to

I think that its now down to your sister to make the next move. Even though she sounds pretty cool and accepting, its still gonna take her a while to get used to the idea. I think that if you just give her a bit of space for a couple of days, she'll realise that you're still her sister and if shes mentioned it in a joking way before, im sure shes not completely homophobic. Hope everything gets better between the 2 of you though.

sugarmagnolia's picture

she probably just needs time

she probably just needs time to accept the idea, i'd leave it for a while and wait till she brings it up again, and then just point out that you're still the same person, and that she shouldn't worry about it, you just felt close enough to her to share.

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

greenmind's picture


Sorry about the awkwardness, siblings can be kind of strange sometimes but you just have to give them time just like anyone else when coming out. I hope things go well, take care of yourself.

~Thank you for the memories, a keepsake in my heart.

phantasmagoria's picture

i have resumed breathing, an

i have resumed breathing, and weirdness has lessened. thank you so much for commments, very soothing :D xxx

milee13's picture

Ha, I know what that's like.

Ha, I know what that's like. My little sister who's fourteen was whining about her life for the millionth time and just being freakishly bitchy and I was starting to get kind of pissed off at her and I said "You know what, I have to deal with shit too, it's not just you, I just came out at school last week so stop whining."

Seriously, it was like the time I shouted "I'm gay" in chem class.

She pretends that I never said anything, actually, knowing her, she probably forgot. And I haven't felt comfortable bringing it up again especially with how I came out to her to begin with.

California--the land of coffee and bagels.

QuakerOats's picture

I told my little brother, who

I told my little brother, who is 9, and I think it's really hard for kids to know how to react. I mean, we have gays and everything in the extended family that he's very familiar with, and our religion supports it. But even young kids have internalized homophobia from school and stuff, and they can definitely pick up on slight discomfort about it from family. My family, while totally accepting, still has trouble being totally open and resisting conformity to pop culture. I myself am not entirely at east with myself, I am sorry to say, and so kids sense that vibe. The more open and comfortable you are, talking about it when it comes up in relation to something on the news or cushes or bullying, the faster your sister will relax about it. You have to lead the way in how she should react-- it's not a situation we're taught well to deal with.