the love songs of sysiphus...

Tjedza's picture

I know not what this means,
this cryptic union
This intricate labyrinth we staggered into
While rashly sipping the sweetness
Of punch-drunk love.

I’m neither there
nor here,
merely lost in a darkness
that promises light,
yet yields years of dashed hopes
that yoke our every thought.

I am suspended in the memory
Of a utopian dream
we used to live,
the beautiful mirage we shared.

But, don’t ask me what I
what I want
Because you know what I want …

But we have waged too many
Wars with each other,
The battle lines we drew
Each time, are now eternally
Carved in our minds
and even in the contrived silences
we brave, we hurt ourselves the most
with thoughts forcing their way through
the lips like battering-rams,
ruthlessly killing the fragile sheep
whose numbers my sleep depends on.

Perhaps it is best that you and I
Get our heads out of the water-
My insides are turgid and tired,
Suffocated and suffering; I am
Drowning hopelessly yet
fundamentally voluntarily.

Our beautiful oasis
Has exposed itself to have been a mirage,
Because here we are now,
Sinking deeper in quicksand
With every turn, every word,
I’m failing,
I’m falling.

And I just want…
To do something right
Though I know I will be left
Wandering mapless in my own mazes
If I am to be
Without you.

So do I leave and take on the world
Again, to endure the emptiness of routine?

Or do I stay here and rest my head on your chest
As you envelope me
with a warmth that
Through my body,
and threads my soul into yours,
Embroidering silent promises
and sweet-everythings
In the seams and hems of our union,
All the while embracing my raison d’etre-
this gentle suicide?


aviva's picture


Fantastic. Who the hell is that about?

You should quit what you're doing and become a poet - better yet, quit everything else and come home to me. I miss you.

Signed: call me what you will.