This guy that likes me

Uncertain's picture

Okay, there's this guy at this Christian youthgroup. He's 15 and bisexual and generally a nice guy. However, he started an obsession over me... kind of wanting me to talk to him all the time on msn. He's been calling me on the phone for three days (twice I said I was busy because I was). He says he loves me, and hearts me more than anything... and he puts my photos as his display pictures and texts me during school (he goes to another school) saying how he can't concentrate because he's thinking about me. He's also saying how we wants to buy me all this stuff even though we just met each other for less than a week. At first his flirtations are quite flattering, but sometimes it comes to the extent that it's also making me a uncomfortable from the "too-openedness" and expectations that he has placed upon me. (There are other things he says/does I don't want to go into). I duno if he really loves me, but I don't feel it for him. I only like him as a friend. I feel guilty not telling him that, and letting him say all these things. I know I should tell him as early as possible so I won't hurt him as much when he finds out, but I don't know how he will take it. I hope I can make things clear to him some time. Do you guys think I should tell him on MSN? Or face to face at the youthgroup (we're not out at the youthgroup so it's going to be hard finding a time to talk to him private)? Other feedback is also welcome... I guess this is more of a personal reflection so I'll do it as a journal instead of a thread.

Comments

Panic Motion's picture

Hmm

I'm in that same situation as both the obsessor and the obsessee. You should definitely tell him as soon as you can. Stuff like this can get really horrible for both people. You will end up hating him, he'll end up hating you, it's just not cool.

If it was me, I'd tell him over the internet. I know that sounds impersonal and insensitive, but like you said you guys aren't out at your youth group. There's people around and I'd want to avoid a scene of ANY kind. You've got to protect yourself and your fella. But that's really the only reason I'd do it.

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Sunny Rays's picture

I would call him. It's a litt

I would call him. It's a little more personal than on the internet but still you would avoid making a public scene, I agree that that wouldn't be so great. You should probably tell him as soon as is possible. Nip it off in the bud before it gets out of hand.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

raining men's picture

Avoid

I would avoid directly tellig him over the internet. Its too much of a let down to do from there. But hint to him as much as you can. Speak friendly, refuse to talk like he does and refuse anything he asks if you feel the need to. But try to tell him the full extent of how you feel either there (you can keep ut short, don't worry) or call him.

Good luck dude. he does just have an infatuation with you. First other GLBT person he's met, and so convince himself you have to go out

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"

Duncan's picture

I feel for you and him.

I feel for you and him. I feel for you because you don't wanna hurt him, but you'll have to, and I hurt for him because no matter what you do, he'll be hurt. It'll be worse if you do it impersonnaly, like on msn or on the phone. Try to take a minute out talk in person with him. Maybe after youth group. The problem is that then you'll see him face to face when he falls. Make sure that he know that you still wanna be his friend. Try to be understanding, 'cuz not only will he be hurt, he may feel guilty and embarrased too. Be sensitive. Good luck man.

hellonwheels's picture

Dude, that kinda sucks...I feel bad for you and him@thesame time

I would tell him over msn that you don't like him in that way, but just as a friend...It would make more sense and you wouldn't out urself inadvertantly...I think it's always hard when one person feels something and the other doesn't...My advice is just to tell him over msn, but do it face 2 face if you feel you have to...Good luck Max.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman