An Idea For Coming Out... What Do You Think?

Sway's picture

The last couple of days (since I signed in this site, actually) have been weird for me. I’ve started to realise that I am what I am and I cannot change. And it’s mixed up: a little dash of serenity, a spot of freedom, a slice of security, but also a big wodge of fear.

I’ve been thinking about coming out to my best friend. I mean, she’s always so understanding about everything, so sweet and sincere, she’s more than a decent human being, she’s an angel. So I don’t think I can keep on lying to her, I can’t do this to her anymore. But I also don’t want her to change. I don’t want her to ask questions that I can’t answer like, say, “Will you ever get married, and if you do, will you cheat on your wife with other men?

Comments

Uncertain's picture

I'd say if it feels right and

I'd say if it feels right and you reckon its gona be the most comfortable way for you to go about with it, then I'd say go for it!

Sunny Rays's picture

Good luck! It sounds like you

Good luck! It sounds like you've though this through very well and are ready to do this. Again, good luck!

Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it.

Disney's picture

For a non-native writer of En

For a non-native writer of English you do very well! A letter sounds intriguing, but I personally don't think it's best to do it that way. If she's really so sincere, talking to her about it in person sounds fine, and since she would be going away, if she gets mad at anything then she would cool down over that time period. And then next thing you know the letter gets misplaced or she doesn't get it or she calls and asks why you didn't tell her in person. I think that you should try to come out to her in person the week before she is going to go away, and if that doesn't work then try the letter. I think your friendship would be stronger from that point on if you came out in person though, and then if you did it before she left she could ask you a few questions maybe, and you might both feel better knowing she was fine with it.

-J, boy, gay and 16 all the way. Just not out to anyone yet. I guess my sig could use some work.

confused2010's picture

sounds great

good idea.. i might do that too

hellonwheels's picture

some might disagree, but I like it.

I think there are those who would call you a coward for not facing her, and yet, it seems like a very good way to approach it...She is a good, trusted friend-I assume, and she is on vacation for two weeks, which will allow you time to realize what you did (outing self) and realize the possible scenarios and consequences, good or bad, that could follow. However it turns out, I think it was a great idea, and if she is truly as good a friend as you say she is, it won't matter...Don't worry too much about it if you already gave her the letter, I'm sure it will end out fine and you will remain friends, even if she does make jokes about marriage...lol. Good luck dude...and welcome to oasis.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Adam A's picture

hm, sorry to say but i think

hm, sorry to say but i think tis a bad idea, i think if she is an angel as you describe her, then you should either give her the letter and wait for her to read it and then d&m the living crap outta her or just tell her face to face. with comming out i think the worst part is the fear, but seriously, even though this is definately not the case for everyone, a lot of people take it really well, especially if she's u'r best friend, in fact most girls who get told by their male friends that they are gay are actually really pretty happy, my best friend was, her and i can go hunting together now! lol, but seriously dude, don't be afraid, just work up the courage, work out what you want to say vaguely and go out there, put u'r balls on the line and tell the bitch! woho!
take care
adam

Sway's picture

Ok, I haven't done anything y

Ok, I haven't done anything yet. I got second thoughts all over me, you know? I can't decide. But I think I'll have to tell her face to face, after all. I just don't know how. Maybe I'll bring that conversation we had a year ago up...

ME - "What would you do if a friend of yours told you they're gay, or bi?"
HER - "Of course it wouldn't matter, but I wouldn't need details either! Ha! Why? You trying to tell me something?"
ME - "No, I was just wondering... I mean, I was watching "Singles" (aka a famous TV series here) yesterday and, well, you saw it, didn't you? Spyro (aka the show's gay character) came out and his best friend Mary went really nuts! I would never do that!"
HER - "No, me neither. I got no problem. I believe you know me well enough to know this."

PS. I'm mostly bi (I've had relationships with girls and I liked them, I'm just not sure because I have never been in love with one).

I just want somebody listening to what I say...

Adam A's picture

hey, if it works for ya!

hey, if it works for ya!