I was just watching Grease with my family. Lord, it made me so depressed. I hate seeing heterosexual couples. It makes me feel so alienated. I've watched it before, but I was only watching it this time because Olivia Newton-John (Sandy) looks really hot at the end of the movie, but I can't stay long enough to get to that part. That comment made by the guy at the dance about "boy-girl couples only" is awful. I wish I could find some movies about lesbians, but I don't know where to get them. And besides, what would I tell Mom and Dad? "I'm watching them to research for my GSA?" Yeah, right.
I'm sick of seeing straight couples all the time! My parents seriously need to add some LGBT movies to their collection. But how would I get them to do that? Maybe I should start my own video collection.
I've been reminiscing a lot lately, looking back at my earlier memories and seeing how I could possibly be a lesbian. The end result? There is PLENTY of evidence. Just take a look:
1) I didn't have any crushes on anybody at all in first grade through fourth grade.
2) The few guys I have had crushes on have always been either slender or shorter than me, most of the time both.
3) When my family watched Charlie's Angels 2 (I was seven or eight) I got this weird feeling in my crotch. I asked my mom about it, and since my parents have always tried to be open with us about sexual stuff, she explained to me I was having sexual feelings.
4) I remember watching part of this movie with Robin Williams in it at my aunt's house. It was about this guy who gets paid to go out with women or something. I remember this woman flirting with the main character in a bedroom. Afterwards, I kept thinking about that girl. I had...feelings for her. I was frightened of her. I got over it, but it was really, really weird.
5) I've only had four crushes on boys in my entire life: one in kindergarten, one in fifth grade, and two in sixth grade. This seems kind of odd, considering how other girls started to like boys a lot in fifth and even fourth grade. But me? Not really.
6) My crush in fifth grade was on this boy who had been my best friend in third grade. I was crazy about him and really upset that I couldn't have him. But now I realize that I didn't want him as a boyfriend, I wanted my best friend back. I mean, I know I'd never get that upset over a possible chance for romance. I've always placed more value in my friends.
7) The two guys I liked in sixth grade were this guy that was extremely cute, but was a jerk. The other one was a guy who had a great personality AND looks. But now when I look at them, I think, "What did I see in them?" Both of them are really skinny, for guys at least, the first one is shorter than me, and the second one is exactly my height. (Well, I assume, anyway. I haven't measured.)
8) Girls are so, so much better than guys.
As you can probably see, I have plenty of reason to think that I am gay. Now, if only I could tell my parents that...