Please help me

SilentBlue's picture

I still really want to tell someone and have someone to talk to, but I am too afraid to talk to any teachers and I don't want my friends to see me or treat me differently. They won't be mean, but it will be the main thing in how they see me. I hear how they talk about any girls they know that are lesbians and that is what they are refered to as...."the lesbian"! Agh! I wish I didn't care about what other people think of me! and I wish I didn't have to tell someone, I wish someone would just figure it out! I know thats never going to happen, but it would be so much easier if someone just asked me (besides family-don't want them to know)
I can't see how it's not obvious! I never flirt with guys, I've never kissed/dated/talked about wanting to date a guy, and I don't even join in with my friends when they are saying how cute some guy is! There are people who I feel maybe suspect something, but I have thought that before and I was wrong. I also don't really trust any of the people that I think might suspect it not to tell anyone if I tried to talk to them.

....If I did talk to my teacher, how would I go about that? Like, how would I start it? and then once its started, how would I put into words the way I'm feeling? Whenever I start try to talk to anyone about it I always just stutter and either come up with something else to say, or just say, never mind. Its really hard to get the words out and find a way to start talking with someone and leading into it instead of just blurting out "I'M GAY!" and I would have to tell her about my depression as well (I guess I don't have to, but I think I would without being able to stop myself) I feel like if I talk to her about it though its like I'm just making up reasons why I don't do all my work or come to class. Or do you think I should wait until summer and see what happens? Its kind of weird to just start talking about the reasons why I'm having troubles at the end of my last year of high school....Please, I need help!!


Adam A's picture

babe, it's gotta feel right,

babe, it's gotta feel right, when it does the words come naturally

take care


oldfoxbob's picture

Yea its hard

Comming out to anyone is a hard thing to do.
I myself had come out to all my friends by the time
I was 21. I never came out to my dad as he would
have thrown me out of the house he was soooooo
homophobic. My mom I told when I was 30. She said
"so what else is new" I was so mad at her because she
knew and never said anything to me. Any way talking to
a teacher can be good IF she/he is a person you KNOW you can
trust. Otherwise things can backfire. Do you go to church?
If not go to another church one where no one knows you and talk
to the minister there. I suggest a MCC or ULC church as those are
the most liberal of them. The minister ususally can offer advise
and council of all kinds.
AS far as friends go there is someone who you have both confided
to each other since you were both little? If so there is the best person to talk to in the friends dept. Take it one step at a time.
Sound them out on what they think about gay people such as saying
" hey Joe.. I was talking to this friend of mine last week and he told me he was...well gay you know...I'm not sure how to handle that...what would you do if you found that a friend of yours was gay?" Then if they respond favorable you know that you can increase the conversation towards gay issues slowly ( over days and weeks) until you finaly tell them that you think You might be "bi". If things still go ok then you can later ( again days to weeks ) tell them that you think you are gay. That is usually the best way of comming out to friends. Why? Because you sound them out on the subject, they except it, and hence will except you and not turn on you. However do tell them it is not something you want blabbed to the entire school system as there are
some " gay's " you dont want to find out as you dont like them. or something like that. That way you don't get outed to everyone.
Good luck and God bless
you are loved.

msquared's picture


Well, the first thing I have to say is come out when you're ready. There isn't a firing squad shooting off people every minute you wait. It's all about you. No one is trying to force you to do something you're not ready to do. But if you really feel that you need to get it off of your chest then try your hardest to do so. Is there a counselor at your school? If there is, you could tell them and I'm sure they'd be very supportive. Not to mention you're not going to feel exceptionally awkward telling them because that's the reason why you're talking to them in the first place. If you'd rather tell your teacher, a good way to start conversation about the topic is just to say that you have something to talk about or there's something bugging you. Just be confident in yourself and you'll do fine. Best of luck!


Sunny Rays's picture

I agree with msquared, a coun

I agree with msquared, a counselor is the way to go. But if you don't have one of them available then I think that if you consider the risks of telling someone and can deal with them then go for it. Good luck! Try to relax. Try.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.