She's ignoring me... And avoiding me... What did I really do?!

Inochi's picture

A few years ago, I had this friend named Claire. Me and her were best friends. She was the one that made me realize that I am bi. Well, me and her didn't go to well after a couple of years. Another one of my so called good friends, Michelle took her away from me and now both of them hate me. But, honestly.. I still want to be Claire's friend, but she insists that I betrayed her... I love her, no matter how angry she is at me or how much she hates me. But, right now I really need to talk to her, and she ignores me. My life is going down and down into the ground and farther than that at the moment.. She's the ONLY one in this world that I even trust enough to tell anything to, even though she wishes I would just die. It's funny how that works out, I guess that's blind love for you. She was my frist love, and she just cast that all away like it was nothing, and when I told her how I felt, she completely thought I was weird, and wouldn't accept it. I don't know what to do now... I just wish she would talk to me and stop trying to avoid and ignore me... I just don't know what to do anymore...

She doesn't know this, but she's the main reason I started cutting, and once she and Michelle did all of this to me, I've never been the same. I don't think she realizes it. I've tried to tell her how much she still means to me, I've told her I still trust her with everything and anything including me. I've tried asking her for help with problems in my life, but she never helps. I don't know what to do... I guess it's stupid of me to still feel this way about her, but I've tried to hate her.. I don't know, I guess I blame myself for everything that happened. I guess I really did do something to her to make her hate me this way. I've tried to apologize, I've cried to her... She's the only person in the world that I've ever told my entire past to. And that's a big deal when it comes to me. I dunno.. I guess I should stop worrying about it, it's just hard...

Comments

cali gurl's picture

im sory but do whats best

oh wow im terribly sorry to hear this...but hun cutting ur self gets u no where trust me i cut my self before i ended up in the hospital huh never told any one on oasis this but now evrey one knows but any ways....why try..if she doesnt want u or want to be friends with u dropp her let her go...u know and we all know u deserve better...if she continuos than shes being a bitch....and if she doesnt relize all the pain shes putting u through confront her..what can go rong..if she doesnt want to hear u out than thats her falt...and its not u thATs loosing a part of ur life its her cause dude shes avously loosing some one great...dont let some one so selfish like her put u down..just keep ur head up and be stronger....good luck

i rather be hated for what i am then to be loved for some thing im not

lytnin's picture

ahh.. that is sad.. just try

ahh.. that is sad.. just try and get over it.. if she won't accept you .. or wont talk to you.. well.. then you no she isn't the ONE... sorry to break it to ya.. but.. i no how it is hard, to lose someone that you thought they were the ONE.. and the person that basicly new everything about you..... she might come back, she just might need sometime to think about something. i'm sorry to hear what happned.. and i'm hoping you the very best of luck. Good luck :D

fuck morality, and everything I know!!!!

wild-blue-yonder's picture

~virtual hug~

Wow, I'm so sorry. That's an awful ordeal to go through. I wish there was some way to make hurt like this just poof-be-gone, you know, vanish into not-caringness. I don't think there is though. I don't exactly understand what happened with you and Claire and Michelle, but it seems to me like Claire just needs some time to think, and hopefully once she's done some real soul-searching, she'll realize how good you were to her and how lucky she was to have you as a friend, and maybe she'll even start to understand how much she must have hurt you. I think she'll come back to you, given time - things probably won't be the same, but she's got to eventually realize what she's done. She must be acting like this because she's scared of something, and once she doesn't feel threatened and gets over her fear, she'll be able to see clearly.

I wish you luck and I think you should remember, you are an awesome person and the way she's acting is not a reflection on you. You're still you without her, you're still a whole person, and it's okay to be sad, and it's okay to be happy. You'll be okay.

Well that's all I wanted to say... anyway... hang in there...