yeah....my soul's hurting...
fuck...that only makes me think of her more.
i feel...betrayed almost...although i don't really know why. she knew it...she knows it...she knows i like her. and for the longest time, she was nice about it. she was polite to me, she was okay.
what the fuck happened? was she just afraid of me? who the fuck could be afraid of me? she avoids me...why? and on top of that, she won't tell me why. i asked her outright and she won't tell me. the only answer she gave me was: "some things are weird & awkward. idk how to explain it, i'm sorry." that was it. no a.) "i feel uncomfortable with you liking me and that's why i don't like it when you're near me." or b.) "i like you back, but i'm in a position where it wouldn't be good for either of us to like each other." nothing. just that odd answer.
i know i need to get over her either way. but fuck....no one seems to realize how much it kills me. no one seems to really understand how much it hurts.