spring has brought the healing rain, but silly god, he forgot to wash away the pain....

Icarus's picture

last night....i stood out on the deck and wondered what it would feel like if i jumped off. would i die? or would i break too many bones and spend the rest of my life in agony?

this isn't the first time i've contemplated suicide. i know it sounds harsh, but it's true. every once in a while, i plummet. straight down into an area i'm not familiar with. i don't think it's depression, but i don't know what it is...

and it scares me. well..."scare" isn't quite the word. worries me. i don't know what's going on.

on a happier note, i realized one thing i want in a significant other. intensity. humor's nice, but i need intensity. crazy as it sounds, it came from me watching the Boondocks. one of the characters, huey, is so powerful and intense...it was awesome. if i met a girl (or guy) like that, wow.


unslept_soul's picture

i understand how u feel...

I know what u mean about the suicide thing... u see my dad was bipolar, but my mom refuses to think i am so i get no treatment, soo i get these mood swings in heavy doses. you should check your family history for Bipolar disorder.