My mom's barely been at home lately. She keeps on going to work at her ceramic shop and leaving me with my younger siblings. This evening when we were eating dinner together as a family at our table (which we rarely ever do anymore) we were sitting beside each other and she kept on patting my shoulder and stuff like that, and she asked me questions about what I had done today and things like that. It was weird. She's never really given me that much attention at dinner, mostly because she knows she's not going to get any good answers to questions like "How was school today?"
It's driving me nuts! She's not talking to me about much of ANYTHING! Usually she isn't this quiet around me. It's like she's trying to avoid me on purpose!
I think this is because of my sexuality. When I've asked her what she really thinks about it, she gets all tense and says, "I'm fine with it, honey." But I don't believe her. Usually she's tried to be nice to me and get me involved with the family, but now she's just stopped. Maybe she's finally given up. But I think that's a lousy excuse.
My younger sister says that she doesn't see anything wrong and that I'm just imagining things. Should I believe her? I dunno. My gut tells me that my mom just isn't comfortable with this. I mean, my sister hasn't been around when I've asked Mom about it. How would she know?
Dang it, I wish she would TALK to me!! I guess I'm being a bit of a hypocrite. I should probably talk to her about it. But I'm scared of what she'll say...or what she might not say. I mean, seriously! What if she just says "I'm fine with it" again?? I swear, I'll go crazy and start drooling at the mouth if she does.
Argh, what the H*** do I DO?? My mom won't tell me what's going on inside her head, and I'm too afraid to ask her about it. What am I supposed to do?