Do you think it is generally easier for a guy or a girl to come out?

85% (53 votes)
15% (9 votes)
Total votes: 62


SilentBlue's picture

So far in my town it has only

So far in my town it has only been guys that have come out and everyone is really excepting of it. But the girls talk about girls from other places that they know are lesbians with disgust. This is probably why no girls have come out that I know of.

hellonwheels's picture

From my experience...

I have to say girls...the only guys that I have seen come out and be "accepted" have been total queens who are every stereotype of a gay guy imaginable...I was listening to the radio yesterday and they were discussing Lance Bass, and of course, of the guys on the local radio show "the men's room" said he once worked in an office full of gays, and though there were the flamboyant, recently outed guys, the majority of the gays he knew were like me- just normal guys...And from experiences in my life, I think it is much easier for girls to be accepted as gay or bi...mainly because straight men are attracted to girl-on-girl action, and also, a lot of girls I know came out as bi just to be little attention whores in school and to get noticed...I dunno, I think if u come out as a guy, ppl expect you to be the stereotypical, fashion-obessed queen image that society has...guys also lose friends because of it in my area...the girls on the other hand, don't...I know several lesbians and lesbian couples in my school and almost no one even says anything...the only ppl who ever talk about them are the slutty girls who when they walk by them, they call out "Dykes" and shit like that...this comments gone on for too long...bye.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

aManDa's picture

Warning this may be a long comment lol

Well my vote was for guys... But i really don't know which would be harder, One because i have never came out as a gay guy since i AM a girl lol, and two because i really don't think its easy for anyone to come out.
For a guy i think it would be very hard because all straight guys thing that gay guys are totally into them... They are their usual cocky selves.. Not all of them but im sure all you outed gay guys would agree a lot of guys are turned away from friendships because they are afraid your into them...
For girl ( i know more about this one) its hard too. A lot of people see girl on girl action as hot. Well guys do. Other girls however, find it repulsive. They find it as a way for a girl to be a whore, not a way of love. They a girl kissing another girl as a way to get attention from guys, not how it really is. And girls, i know yo agree when you meet a girl who gets around they dont have too many close friends right.. Girls are very disagreeable about sexuality. They find gay guys as the best girlfriend they never had, but they see gay girls as "nasty" an"inappropriate"

I don't think its harder for one or the other.. I think it's just a hard thing to deal with period.. So that was a long enough comment.. If you agree then let me know :)

"I feel there is something unexplored about a woman that only a woman can explore."
---by Georgia O'Keeffe

hellonwheels's picture

u kind of had the same point I did...

It's hard for guys because their straight frineds exclude them and are often insecure around them...but not all gay guys are the "best girlfriend they ever had" In my mind, that is a really annoying, stereotyopical thing to even say, though a lot of gay guys go along w/ it...anyway, I said it was easier for a girl because so many think of lesbian sex as "hot". That is why it is more acceptable in straight society, especially to men...I also think girls don't have that macho image that many jock-ish men have and they are more compassionate and therefore more accepting of gay friends...but I also see the other side too...where gay and bi girls I know have been spit on, kicked and scraped/slapped, because of their differnce from "normal" it can go both ways, though I think it is often harder for guys because they get more of the cold-shoulder approach...

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

SilentBlue's picture

Straight guys do see girl-on-

Straight guys do see girl-on-girl as hot, but a lot of them get pissed when they learn that they really have no chance with either of the girls and resort to putting down the girls to re-inflate their busted ego.....But I agree that it is VERY difficult for both guys and girls to come out. It just seems like gay girls get talked about behind their backs by other girls, who also believe that every lesbian has a crush on them. This does happen with guys alot too, but, in my town anyway, people brush off a guy being gay more quickly than if a girl were to come out as a lesbian.

utter_insanity's picture

I say neither

Why? Because it doesn't matter whether you're a guy or a girl; the fact is, homosexuality is hated by a lot of people. Coming out is often very, very difficult, no matter what your gender is.

~~Gay And Here To Stay~~

savanh_person's picture

i cna't vote on this becaue i

i cna't vote on this becaue i think that it woudl be equally the same difficulty for both a guy and a girl to come out in general

"who said you need a bottle as an excuse to make out???"

QuakerOats's picture


It has to do more with their situation and environment.

Adam A's picture

i think it's easier to cats t

i think it's easier to cats to come out...


theonechickcagelle's picture

i think it would be harder fo

i think it would be harder for guys because our society seems to see gay guys as being feminine, and it is demasculinizing for men to be "feminine" according to this.

Charlotte: "Should you really take pot from strangers?"
Carrie: "They're not strangers, they're our new friends with pot."

Kodak13's picture

"The cure is if you let in ju

"The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough" - AVA

i think either way u put it its hard but down here boys r more accepted then girls cuz its like atleast guys have something to stick and somewhere to stick and when girls-nothin so yeah

Disney's picture

I think it is obviously diffi

I think it is obviously difficult for anyone to come out of the closet, but moreso for guys; mostly for the reasons listed above/below. A gay guy may find making male friends a lot harder exactly because of what's outlined, and then even finding a female friend could be tough, or having a good good girl friend could be difficult because they may always have the gay stereotype set for you in their minds, or dismiss you and go hang out with gal pals or just go to the bathroom or something.

I don't feel great about generalizing when it comes to this sort of stuff, but (teenage) guys seem to have a lot less to actually talk about, or do not want to go in-depth on world issues or things that could be emotional, or thye just want to make a joke of it. These may be things a gay guy is interested or aware of, or the guys may be more into sports or cars or something and the gay boy is actually not interested in those things. While a lesbian might not be at all into fashion or make-up or cars or sports or world events; I think that girls are all round' easier to talk to and in many ways way more accepting and sensitive. And if you want to cry what kind of reaction is a straight guy going to have vs. a straight girl? And then there's sometimes a stigma about gay guys and how they 'get happy' or if they might turn you gay or something along those lines. With a lesbian it seems more like everyone'll be a bit awkward at first but then glad they were told and far fewer people will be negative about it.

Of course it all does vary and who you come out to and where you live and how you do it all play a big role.

-J, boy, gay and 16 all the way. Just not out to anyone yet.

jeff's picture


I'm out way too long to think about this stuff, but it seems hard to answer beyond that. I mean, come out to who? Family? a best friend? their school everyone?

Not to mention, it's an egocentric world, so guys will think it's easier for girls, and vice versa.

I think comingout is the goal for everyone, and as long as everyone works at ther own pace toward that goal, it's all good....

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Dim's picture


Both Jeff and Disney had some good points, but in the end, it has to be obvious that there exists no general truth that can answer such a question. Whether it's easy or hard to come out will always be judged subjectively, so I would say the only people who might have some sort of insight, are the people around, who make it either an easy or a bumpy ride. (straight ppl)

Secondly, it has to differ from place to place, and from situation to situation. You can say "but guys are more uptight" , "but women are vicious". I say people are homophobic. Always have been and always will be. So when you show that you're queer by coming out, there's bound to be some kind of reaction, triggered by people's insecureites, prejudices and fear of the unknown. For some people it will be the hardest thing they ever did, and for others, it will be accepted over night.