Forum Games..... The Corrupted Wish

Anonymous's picture

Ok, seeing as the old game is apparently "stale" *glares at adam* heres a new one. Its lots of fun, *evil cackle*. Ok so the object of this game is to grant the previous posters wish, ala monkey paw style.

ie:
User A) I wish I had a pony
User B) Granted, but the pony has a prefernce of human flesh for its food and consumes you in your entirety in a matter of minutes.

So nice and simple, Make sure you make a wish after granting one or ELSE.

I wish my peircing wasn't infected

commander147's picture

Granted, but they make a

Granted, but they make a sport outa how many people they can impale on their horns at once. Its a smash hit im the sport comunity and is televised everywhere... after a month there are no more humans.... the unicorns become depressed and kill them selves.... congradulations you not only killed the human race, but also all the unicorns too

I wish I had a bunny suit

Go to any quiet place and listen, and soon you will hear the voices of those who came before you. Long after we leave this place, our voices will echo in these halls.

Feather's picture

Granted, but then you find

Granted, but then you find that the zipper is stuck, and you can't get it off, nor can anyone else who tries. You are stuck hopping around amusing or scaring little children for the rest of your life.

I wish I didn't have finals on Tuesday.

flugzeug712's picture

Granted... but...

you will have finals for every day for the rest of your life, and when you die you will go to neither heaven nor hell, but rather this parallel universe where you will have to continue taking finals.

I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator.

Operator! What's the number for 911?! ~ Dan Castellaneta

83.2%% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

poissonrouges's picture

Granted.

However you will be a strung out over achiever who stay up at all hours to finish their work and has to operate on twinkies and crack.

I wish I had a room filled w. blacklights and cans of glow-in-the-dark paint.

I know there's "black sheep," but what about rainbow ones?

my three wheeler rox's picture

Granted

but while you've been stockin up on pain, there has been a nuclear holocaust and there is no electricity for you to run your blacklights on. Also, your door cannot be opened and the fumes from the paint give you permanat brain damage.
I wish my crush would fall in love with me.

3 wheels are better than 4!

Do they react that way because of who we are or because of your personality?
"I like to think it's me."

flugzeug712's picture

Granted, but she ends up

Granted, but she ends up being really needy and clingy and you can never get her away from you. Until one day you finally break up with her and then she comes after you with a chain saw.

I wish I had crushes on gay girls... not the straight girl in my Chemistry class whom is in love with her boyfriend that doesn't deserve her and abuses their relationship.

Operator! What's the number for 911?! ~ Dan Castellaneta

83.2%% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

rowie's picture

(ignoring the spam)

granted, but you suddenly start having crushes on 80 year old balding lesbians with saggy boobs...

i wish i had lots of yummy food all cooked for me.

--i used to be a tomboy, now im a full grown lesbian--

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

gaynow's picture

aha, spam... xD

granted. it's all poisoned. (aww, that one was too easy.)

I wish I was done with my arrangement.

flugzeug712's picture

Granted, but your

Granted, but your arrangement deciedes it's not done with you and follows you around forever.... stalking you.... following your every move...

I wish I had a really big cake right now.

gaynow's picture

Granted. You have a really

Granted. You have a really big cake. Out pops a really stripper. Still good, right? Wrong. She has a machine gun. :(

I wish my hair was better behaved.

5thstory's picture

Granted, but just for a

Granted, but just for a day...then you'll go bald, and if you buy a wig it will burn up the second you wear it.

I wish my crush to tell me he's gay

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens -

Lol-taire's picture

Granted

But he's best friends with James Dobson (they met at a party) and goes to Exodus International meetings, gets married dubiously and has 5 children but no sex life.

I wish I had my own chorus line.

my three wheeler rox's picture

..

granted, but they're all ugly and out of sync.
I wish I had a house in Hawai'i

Ride hard or stay home.

Do they react that way because of who we are or because of your personality?
"I like to think it's me."

rowie's picture

granted

but they all squeal like tortured cats.

i wish someoe would pack all my stuff for me before i have to move.

--i used to be a tomboy, now im a full grown lesbian--

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

5thstory's picture

Granted. But your bags will

Granted. But your bags will get lost, and you'll never find them.

I wish someone would do all my homework.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens - Solo quiero verte bailar, girando, girando, girando.

Leisa's picture

Granted

but you fail every single assignment.

I wish the dc port in my laptop wasn't messed up and I didn't have to pay $200 to get it fixed.

Lol-taire's picture

granted

but only because the computer has never been invented at all

I wish I could dance and not look like I'm flailing

Icarus's picture

granted....

but only because you can't stop dancing ever again....

i wish i had a car that ran well and was gas efficient...

"Yes! No! Oh, damn!"

dreamers imagine someday's picture

Granted, but you crash the

Granted, but you crash the car into a pole and between the car and the pole is the person who was meant to be your one true love. You die alone.

I wish that I had enough money to go through university and med school without any loans.

V is the bomb, he blows with anarchy!!!

dykehalo's picture

Granted, but after you

Granted, but after you graduate you can't find a job and you become homeless and hooked on drugs.

I wish i had a milion dollars.
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~

5thstory's picture

Granted, but then a

Granted, but then a tax-collector comes along, and takes 750,000. Then he tells you that you still owe a million to the State for all the oxigen payments you missed.

I wish it would rain for a couple more hours.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens - Solo quiero verte bailar, girando, girando, girando.

joemondragon's picture

Granted, but he comes out as

Granted, but he comes out as bi, and dumps you for a girl.

I wish I had a pilot's licence.

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris

Lol-taire's picture

granted

But it's 1948 and the Berlin Blockade, you're airlifting in food supplies and end up one of the 40 odd US causulties.

I wish I didn't owe any library fines.

5thstory's picture

Granted. But you don't owe

Granted. But you don't owe them because the library burned up.

I wish my car was repaired sooner.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens - Solo quiero verte bailar, girando, girando, girando.

gaynow's picture

Granted.

But the mechanic was actually a serial killer. Now he's hiding in your trunk, and he's gonna jump out and kill you next time there's no one around.

I wish my ankle wasn't twisted and swollen.

my three wheeler rox's picture

granted..

It was amputated
I wish I didn't have to go to 2nd hour

Ride hard or stay home.

Do they react that way because of who we are or because of your personality?
"I like to think it's me."

flugzeug712's picture

granted, but now the people

granted, but now the people from your second hour transfer into your first hour while everyone from your first hour will transfer out and your first hour will last forever.... you will have to spend the rest of your life with the people from your second hour class.

I wish that my chemistry teacher was gone more often...

Lol-taire's picture

granted

But only because your chemistry teacher (in league with the biology department and an undertaker with a sinister English accent, a twiddly moustache and an inappropriate top-hat) are reanimating a creature made from human body parts sewn crudely together with bits of string and embroidery thread. Lightning strikes. The creature is alive! It goes on a rampage, you give it a flower and it throws you in the lake.

I wish I was sitting on a veranda drinking gin and tonic.

dykehalo's picture

Granted but the gin and

Granted but the gin and tonic are poisonous and you die a slow and painful death.
I wish i didn't have to write this paper that i'm doing right now.
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~

5thstory's picture

Granted, you won't write

Granted, you won't write yours. You'll write everyone else's, for eternity.

I wish I didn't had a physics test tomorrow

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Lol-taire's picture

granted

But only because when Newton's dog set fire to his life works, he couldn't be arsed to write it out again. As a result modern physics doesn't exist. Einstein sold used cars for a living. The world as we know it doens't exist- certainly there are no computers and no oasis.

I wish the damn rain would stop drizzling so interminably.

my three wheeler rox's picture

granted

The rains are replaced with snow and your house is buried with you and your mortal enemy trapped inside.
I wish I could quit drinking Mountain Dew.

Ride hard or stay home.

Do they react that way because of who we are or because of your personality?
"I like to think it's me."

anythingnotmyname's picture

Granted, but you end up so

Granted, but you end up so tired from the lack of caffeine that you sleep for three years straight and never graduate.

I wish that Buffy the Vampire Slayer was back on the air.

dykehalo's picture

Granted bu now it is the

Granted bu now it is the only show that is on for the rest of time. And everyone was is mad and upset because it's the only show we all can watch.
i wish i could skip tomorrow and just go to saturday.
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~

Lol-taire's picture

granted

But on the Friday you missed you would have met an eccentric billionaire in the supermarket. They'd forgotten to pick up a tin of baked beans and so you offered to fetch them while they scanned the rest of the their groceries. In a fit of eccentric gratitude they changed their will so you inherit their entire estate. Then they dropped down dead. You would have been a billionaire, but all you got was an early weekend.

I wish I'd spoken to the girl with the blonde wig and the Pink Ladies jacket at the party last night.

5thstory's picture

granted. But she was just a

granted. But she was just a dude, doing undercover work for the CIA.

I wish I was fish

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens -

milee13's picture

Granted, but you're quick to

Granted, but you're quick to find yourself filleted and on my plate.

I wish I didn't have to go back up North and find a job.

oldfoxbob's picture

Granted

You find a job in the south and remain there...but...you discover being a hooker for Pat Robinson doesnt pay all that well....

I wish i could be 16 again.

ofb
Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense.

milee13's picture

Thankfully my "South" is

Thankfully my "South" is only the SF bay area....

Granted, but you find yourself reborn as a sixteen year old girl with a substance abuse problem and a pushy stagemom who wants you to be the best lion tamer ever born--even though the cat dander is killing you.

I wish I could retake my intro econ final/

Neutrina's picture

Granted

But you only have five minutes to take it and your teacher is tap dancing on your desk while humming off-key Broadway show tunes.

I wish I knew how to bake croissants.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

gaynow's picture

................ I wish less

................

I wish less random spammers came to Oasis.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

5thstory's picture

Granted, but then all the

Granted, but then all the spammers will be less random -they'll focus on delivering extracts from Conservapedia-.

I wish I could get a 'Yes, I think we should keep in touch because I really like you' answer from S.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

1stTeeka's picture

granted

granted, but then you keep meeting better ones but can never be with them!

um..i wish for...a library filled with all the books i'll ever want to read all to myself! omg i'm such a bookworm :cry:

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

utter_insanity's picture

Granted, but you are locked

Granted, but you are locked in the library. No one is within a 50-mile radius, there are no computers or phones with which you can call/email for help, and there is no food or water in the library. You die of thirst surrounded by your precious books.

I wish my parents weren't forcing me to shave my legs. *sigh*


"Women in rubber will ALWAYS be flirting with me!" --Maureen in the musical RENT

gaynow's picture

Granted. You have a library

Granted. You have a library all to yourself. ALL to yourself. It's airtight. You suffocate and die. Have a nice day =P

I wish that I DM tomorrow's D&D game well.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

Neutrina's picture

Granted. But you do it so

Granted. But you do it so well that you're never allowed to stop playing. You die from lack of sleep.

I wish I was better organized.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

nydolls1973's picture

Granted, but then people

Granted, but then people tell you to become an accountant to showcase your abilities, and you never find your true calling.

I wish I had a job.
–––
the anti-philosophy of spontaneous acrobatics / tristan tzara

Toph's picture

Granted, but soon after you

Granted, but soon after you start working the place you're working at goes out of business (It's happened to me before. It sucks horribly)

I wish my brother would stop using my sexuality as blackmail

5thstory's picture

Granted, he told every

Granted, he told every single person in the world, so he can't blackmail you now.

I wish my friends were in town.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

Granted, but they're too

Granted, but they're too busy fighting crime in spandex suits to talk to you.

I wish I was a YouTube celebrity. (not sure why..)

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