Forum Games..... The Corrupted Wish

Anonymous's picture

Ok, seeing as the old game is apparently "stale" *glares at adam* heres a new one. Its lots of fun, *evil cackle*. Ok so the object of this game is to grant the previous posters wish, ala monkey paw style.

ie:
User A) I wish I had a pony
User B) Granted, but the pony has a prefernce of human flesh for its food and consumes you in your entirety in a matter of minutes.

So nice and simple, Make sure you make a wish after granting one or ELSE.

I wish my peircing wasn't infected

gaynow's picture

Granted. Screaming mobs of

Granted. Screaming mobs of fans come and lovingly trample you to death.

I wish the theater I'm performing in next week had better acoustics.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

5thstory's picture

granted, but you'll lose

granted, but you'll lose your voice and you will be replaced by the person you hate the most in the cast.

I wish I could find my phone

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

Granted, but it's been

Granted, but it's been stuffed up the ass of a constipated elephant. You give it laxatives, but too many because it all comes out at once and you suffocate in a pile of feces (that actually happened to a guy--pretty nasty way to die I think).

I wish my arm would stop itching!!!

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Neutrina's picture

Granted. It falls off. I

Granted. It falls off.

I wish I could get into Spanish 5.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

gaynow's picture

Granted.

Granted. You're suffocated by homework :P

I wish I didn't have to wake up early tomorrow. (And don't say "you never wake up, you're dead," it's too easy. Be creative!)

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

bulldyke's picture

Granted, sucka

Granted, you wake get up late and have to go to walk to school. You're horribly late, and everyone stares and boos at you when you walk in.

I wish that Bush and Cheney would be put under a spell that made them endure all the pain they've caused on the world, every day, for the rest of their lives, which would be extended forever. This would include, but not be limited to all the people who's deaths they've caused, whether it be directly or indirectly, not to mention the emotional pain of losing a family member, or the knowledge that you'll never be allowed to marry the one you love.

Bulldyke

My usual signiture is off having mindblowing sex with my girlfriend's favorite quote. I'm so jealous.

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

Granted, but they've become

Granted, but they've become masochists.

Uhhhm....I wish I had a very yummy popcicle :) mmm.

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bulldyke's picture

So, who cares? They can

So, who cares? They can satisfy themselves, and I don't have to have any part in it.

Granted, but it melts all over you, and now you're covered in icky goo and you can never take a shower! MUAHAHAHAHAHA

I wish that I could go to sleep right now and not wake up until my girlfriend comes home. And yes, I would wake up when she gets back, be a bit more origional than that!

Bulldyke
"I prefer the term gay because, well, lesbian has three syllables!" Emily Sailers, 1/2 of the Indigo Girls (duh)

98 percent of the teenage population will try, does, or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy

1stTeeka's picture

Granted!

Gratned but...now she wants to play hide and seek and while away she became a master at it and you will never find her! omg i love playing hide and seek XD

i wish to be immortal! (so i can surviuve locked in my library with every book i would ever want to, and i dont think thats so bad btw, i would see it as a challenge to see how manny books i could read before i die XD, i would leave a note for the next person to visit and get locked forever in my library)
**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

5thstory's picture

granted, but you wind up

granted, but you wind up like Dorian Gray.

I wish I did not had to read Moby Dick.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

gaynow's picture

Granted. You read Catcher in

Granted. You read Catcher in the Rye instead. Aren't you happy? (Note: you're not. That book is evil.)

I wish I talked to M more.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Granted, but you talk "M" crazy and he ends up chasing you away with a baseball bat.

I wish for...er...world peace.

Grace Hughen's picture

Granted! Now that the world

Granted! Now that the world is peaceful, there is never any sadness ever again. No suffering, no anger, no negative emotion of any kind. Because of this, nobody appreciates how lucky they are, because they take their situation for granted. Also, nobody is ever happy because "happy" is a comparative term, and since there's no "sad" there can't be an opposite.

I wish that I weren't afraid of my own imagination.

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Granted. Now, instead of being afraid of your own demented imaginings, you're afraid of reality. Trying to escape it, you flee to a secluded mountain area and live the rest of your life as a hermit, talking to yourself in third person.

I wish there'd be a law making ignorance punishable by death. And that I was exempt from it.
____________________________________________
"Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."

gaynow's picture

Granted

Granted. They're gonna sentence Bush to the ignorance death penalty. He, angry, sentences you to the non-ignorance death penalty. You fry.

I wish I do well in my show tomorrow.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

duchess_madly's picture

granted. but you do so well

granted. but you do so well in your show that millions of talent scouts sign you onto millions of contracts causing you to have no time for yourself, school work, or relationships. forever living a life of continuous performance.

i wish i had kissed her.

gaynow's picture

Granted

You kissed her. she had arsenic on her lips. you die.

i wish i knew what sort of sock i need.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

apuffalogic's picture

Granted. You find the

Granted. You find the "sock", but since you forgot to make it plural you only get one, which you lose in the washing machine. You never find one like it again, and die of a broken heart because of it.

I wish for an "Easy Button" (You know, like you find in those Office Depot commercials).
____________________________________________
"Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."

5thstory's picture

Granted, you are easy now. I

Granted, you are easy now.

I wish I had more Vegemite

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Granted. You find a jar of Vegemite on the road, and eat its entire contents without a second thought, barely noticing the funny aftertaste it leaves. Suddenly, your face turns blue and you collapse on the ground, twitching. You stay there until a car pushes your remains into a ditch.

Remember when I wished for world peace? Well, now I wish for world unrest.
edit: OOPS! Already happening. Howabowwwt...I wish for free everything.
____________________________________________
"Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."

1stTeeka's picture

granted

granted, but now there is no room in your house because its full of everything and you now live on the street.

I wish i didnt wind up like dorian gray! ( ha now i have my llibrary and i'm immortal =P and i dont end up like dorian gray XD )

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

Neutrina's picture

Granted. But all your books

Granted. But all your books are in a language you don't understand, with no pictures or any other sorts of clues.

I wish I didn't have so much summer homework.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

1stTeeka's picture

granted, but now you have

granted, but now you have endless winter spring and fall homework that will keep you working through summer XD

I wish i could understand all languages ( HA! )

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

apuffalogic's picture

Well, then.

Granted. However, your limitless capacity for these languages is fettered by the fact that you can't voluntarily switch between them. Through the help of hand gestures and a translator, you manage to live through your unpredictable condition, but one day you wake up and find yourself stuck at Pig Latin. Your family, in a fit of frustration, sends you to a mental hospital. You never see the outside world again.

I wish to know the meaning of life.
____________________________________________
"Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

Granted, but since the

Granted, but since the meaning of life can only be known through death you are trampled to death by an aroused rhino.

I wish...hm...that I had that wicked awesome guitar I've been drooling over, and it was in excellent, playable condition and nothing was preventing me from playing it.

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1stTeeka's picture

granted

granted, but now you can never stop playing and people get so tired of hearing you they lock you in a nice padded sound proof cell in the mental hospital down the street from me, dont worry i promise to come and visit XD
I wish for...there really to be a mental hospital down the street from me XD bored of my library for now :'(

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

1stTeeka's picture

granted

granted, but now you can never stop playing and people get so tired of hearing you they lock you in a nice padded sound proof cell in the mental hospital down the street from me, dont worry i promise to come and visit XD
I wish for...there really to be a mental hospital down the street from me XD bored of my library for now :'(

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Granted. However, you nearly stopped the thread in its tracks with your wish, which is absolutely unforgivable. So, as a random act of punishment, I turn you into a duck! Quack! You're now the pet of one of the mental patients.

I wish for a portable death ray.
___________________________________________
"Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."

utter_insanity's picture

Granted...

Granted; it misfires and hits you. (Wow, that was easy.)

I wish that I could find my lost library book and not have to pay any library fines. >.<


"Women in rubber will ALWAYS be flirting with me!" --Maureen in the musical RENT

gaynow's picture

Granted.

Granted. You don't have to pay any fines on your library book, provided you bring it in. And you know where it is. In a volcano ^^

I wish I didn't need this much sleep.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

Neutrina's picture

Granted. You discover an

Granted. You discover an amazing drug that lets you get by on an hour of sleep a night and isn't detectable. However, you neglect to realize that prolonged use has the side effect of turning your skin blue. You are mistaken for a fish and thrown in a lake, where you drown.

I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

gaynow's picture

Granted

Granted. Everyone is in love with you. Aaaaaand we all know the consequences of that. (Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered, anyone? ^^)

I wish I was certain and secure about my sexuality.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Granted. You're now a proud autosexual. You waste the rest of your life trying to get a marriage with yourself legally recognized.

I wish that this wish not be granted. HA!!!
____________________________________________
"A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'"

5thstory's picture

Your wish for not-granting

Your wish for not-granting has been granted, ergo, this granting is defying it's own logic, being a thing that is no meant to be. Since granting a non-grant destroys logic, both universal and of the game, you cause the world -and the game- to end. Bravo.

I wish for all my wishes to come true from now on!

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Ho, hum *examines fingernails*.
Sure. Granted. However, having all your wishes come true includes granting the one you just made. Which wishes for all your wishes to come true. Which includes that wish. Which wishes for all your wishes to come true. Which includes that wish. Etcetera, etcetera. Congratulations, you've created an infinitely repeating, recursive loop. Your foolish wish will be eternally preoccupied exclusively wishing for itself, ipso facto, nothing you want will never come true again.

I wish for Canada's Green Party to win a majority in the next federal election.
____________________________________________
"A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'"

Lol-taire's picture

Granted. But just after the

Granted. But just after the votes are in, a shadowy underground anarcho-communist-neo-fascist-fundamentalist-supremicist (they don't really care just so long as they get to shoot people and shout a lot) organisation launches a coup. The new leader of Canada is a one General Butch McGunface and a police state is born.

I wish I didn't need to get so many of my high-heels repaired- my boots, my girl brogues and my beautiful, shiny red strappy stilettos, at massive cost to me. Stupid shoes.

Neutrina's picture

Granted. They repair

Granted. They repair themselves by coming to life. Then they eat you.

I wish I wish my guinea pigs would stop attacking each other.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

1stTeeka's picture

granted

granted, instead they attack everyone but you in your house, destroying it in the process, they get convicted of murder and sent to prison with 20 to life, and now your homeless.

i wish...my computer wasnt so slow (and wishing for a mental hospital down the street from me isnt a bad thing, it just means you have to be creative in coming up with something bad for it.)

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

Lol-taire's picture

Granted, your computer is so

Granted, your computer is so fast you realise it has now evolved concious thought. Rather than take over Earth sci-fi stylee, it simply demands a fair wage, sick leave, benefits and holiday pay. You can no longer afford to keep the computer. It gets a job in middle management and even has an office romance with a cute photo-copier. You get nothing.

I wish I could once in my life do that bit in The Sound of Music, where the girl in the chiffon dress is dancing around the summer-house in the storm, and being lifted from bench to bench by the blond nazi-guy. But like, without the nazi bit. Or the guy bit. Keep the blonde.
"I am 16, going on 17..."

That's my wish. Nothing weird about it. No. Not at all.

5thstory's picture

Granted, but the blonde girl

Granted, but the blonde girl lets you fall down. All the bones in your body are either broken or dislocated, and you look like a mixture of the Phantom of the Opera and The Hunchback of Notre Dame for the rest of your life.

I wish...I wish....I wish things would happen as I want them to happen, and soon!

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

haNa's picture

granted, then there would be

granted, then there would be no suprise in life and that would be so boring you'd have to kill yourself.

I wish I was happy

~haNa

5thstory's picture

Granted, you were happy.

Granted, you were happy. Once.

I wish I could stop wishing.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Toph's picture

Granted, but then you find

Granted, but then you find an old dusty lamp that you rub and a genie comes out and tells you that you have 3 wishes. You are unable to wish anything, so he gets angry with you since he can't be free from you unless you use all your wishes, so instead he kills you :P

I wish that my trip to Emily's house tomorrow goes well

1stTeeka's picture

granted

granted, but the trip home doesn't, somehow you end up in a plain that crashes and wash up on a deserted island and your all alone and go crazy, but a volleyball wsahes up on shore to keep you company :)

i wish my computer looses its job and comes back and begs me to take it back!

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Okay. It will. But by the time you get the thing back, you realize it's too old to be able to run anything even remotely recent. And its previous owners uninstalled its operating system. Which, may I add, is no longer available. So basically you're stuck with a useless box of computer bits. Oh, yes, and part of the deal to get the computer back was that you'd never use anything else for the rest of your life.
You spend the rest of your life getting laughed at for your computer. And the fact that you're still a duck.

I wish my town had a better library.
____________________________________________
"'How can I tell,' said the man, 'that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?'"

Neutrina's picture

Granted. But the librarians

Granted. But the librarians are convinced that you stole one of the new books, a very valuable, autographed copy of The Mists of Avalon. You are barred from entering the library.

I wish my girlfriend wasn't mad at me.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

Grace Hughen's picture

Granted. Your girlfriend

Granted. Your girlfriend isn't mad at you, because she's now mad at herself for having once been mad at you. She cuts off all communication with you and hides in a dark dungeon because she feels unworthy even to see your face. But at least she's not mad at you!

I wish I could get myself to finish my summer reading within this week.

5thstory's picture

Granted, you finish it this

Granted, you finish it this week. Your teacher really hates you, so you'll fail the class anyways.

I wish my life could be like a *happy* movie.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Lol-taire's picture

granted

Granted, but a non-stop soundtrack of feel good pop and inspirational anthems accompany every moment spent without dialogue.
You can't drive to an airport without 'aint no mountain high enough' blaring out of the ether. You can't get ready in the mornings without 'working 9 to 5' sounding from nowhere when you step in the shower.

It gets old fast.

I wish I knew why peope kept saying that they could imagine me belonging in the 1980s.

ACCgirl's picture

Granted. But upon hearing

Granted. But upon hearing their reasons for saying they could imagine you belonging in the 1980s, you realize there has been a horrible mistake and you actually do belong in the 1980s. From this moment on you become obsessed with that era in attempt to discover yourself, perpetually listening to Boy George, Madonna, and Loverboy and refusing to interact with technology produced after 1989. It follows that you had to forsake any mp3 players, newer microwaves, fridges, and computers (including beloved Oasis).

I wish I were the most amazing guitarist on the entire planet.