Forum Games..... The Corrupted Wish

Anonymous's picture

Ok, seeing as the old game is apparently "stale" *glares at adam* heres a new one. Its lots of fun, *evil cackle*. Ok so the object of this game is to grant the previous posters wish, ala monkey paw style.

ie:
User A) I wish I had a pony
User B) Granted, but the pony has a prefernce of human flesh for its food and consumes you in your entirety in a matter of minutes.

So nice and simple, Make sure you make a wish after granting one or ELSE.

I wish my peircing wasn't infected

Neutrina's picture

Granted

You have amazing luck and decide to go to a casino, where you win so much that security is convinced you're cheating. Using your amazing luck, you escaped unharmed with your winnings. The disappointed sadistic grunts beat up small children in your place.

I wish I could find my textbooks for English.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

5thstory's picture

How charming! I even got

How charming! I even got away with murder :)

Granted, you find your textbooks for English. Never mind they were tore up into microscopic pieces, spread all over a 100-acre terrain used for cows, and throughout washed with lye.

I wished things worked according to the plan.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Neutrina's picture

Granted

Whatever higher powers exist decide that the world needs a great Plan because things are too darn disorganized. So things work according to The Plan. Unfortunately, The Plan strongly favors fish, and soon the whole world is underwater. All land life forms die out.

I wish I didn't have school tomorrow.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

I bleed audio's picture

Ka Boom

Granted

You hear the sirens start to blare but it is too late, a blinding light flashes through your windows as a thundering boom shakes the timbers of your home. It's happened, World war 3 has finally started with an atomic bomb being dropped on your area. Don't worry you survived and hey you don't have school tomorrow, I hope this brings you solace when you find out you have radiation poisoning.

I wish I had some more Mountain Dew
-----------------------------------
Despite all the things you may have learned, if you play with fire then you're bound to get burned

fox333's picture

Granted

Top scientists hear your idea and deside to reasearch mountain dew. it turns out that by only adding one chemical it becomes the healthiest drink on the planet and everyone has to drink it all the time. the only problem is that chemical is such that you need certain genes to taste it and you have those genes. And it tastes disgusting.

I wish I had fashion sense.

Adam A's picture

meow

granted but he turns out to be a pussy and you spend u'r life being the dick of the relationship.
(tehe i'm starting this old forum again, it's like the oldest running one ever totally ROCKS!

i wish i could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we could all eat and be happy!

I bleed audio's picture

Yeah! Cake Cancer!

Granted

You bake a cake made out of rainbows and everyone on earth partakes of this rainbow cake and is filled with happiness...for awhile. Days later it is found out by government agencies that rainbows and happiness actually cause cancer and your rainbow cake has condemned the human race. Yeah!

I wish "He" would notice me and like me as much as I like him.

-----------------------------------
Despite all the things you may have learned, if you play with fire then you're bound to get burned

Neutrina's picture

Granted

And at first, your relationship is all you ever dreamed of. Then "He" reveals that he is actually a werewolf. His timing is horrible: you're at his house the night of the full moon. You turn to leave, and he transforms and eats you.

I wish I could stop being so conflicted. And still be alive/able to think.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

Inkblot's picture

Granted

But the decision you reach at the end of your conflict resolution involves tapdancing, public transit and dildos.

I wish I had fewer pimples.

Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

Neutrina's picture

*ponders*

Actually, not a bad idea.
Think I could fashion a cane out of dildos? As a prop? It would go so well with "Puttin' on the Ritz"

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

Hakase's picture

Granted

But in their place you have warts.

I wish my group was finished with the physics project.

Neutrina's picture

Granted

But they did a horrible job. Ordinarily, this would be merely aggravating, but they somehow managed to prove that g=0 at sea level. In an attempt to be accommodating, the Earth stops spinning and loses mass. Friction ceases to exist, as there's no normal force, so no one can move. Everyone starves to death.

I wish it was spring break.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

I bleed audio's picture

Best get a poncho

Congratulations it's spring break! Not only that but due to some bit of luck you won a radio contest and got yourself a roundtrip ticket to Florida! There are gorgeous supposedly bi curious college women all around you dressed in skimpy swimsuits. Its a vision of lesbian paradise...until the hurricane hits. With the hit of hurricane Audio these happy spring break hotties turn into royal bitches clawing at each other to get out of the rain. Maybe you'd best use that return ticket now.

I wish I could kick ass at Tekken

-----------------------------------
Despite all the things you may have learned, if you play with fire then you're bound to get burned

Rest in peace Captain America (1941-2007)

Neutrina's picture

Granted

But you can't do anything else. Including breathe. You're kick-ass for all of two minutes, then you suffocate.

I wish I had better control over my emotions.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

Inkblot's picture

Granted

But then you are able to control everyone else's emotions as well, and they get weirded out and avoid you, leaving you lonely and isolated.

I wish I was at my dad's.

Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

Neutrina's picture

Granted

But no one else is there, as everyone's gone on vacation. However, because an evil pixie cursed you to look like a fish, you're spending vacation in a fishbowl.

I wish I had more chocolate.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

Rachel_Girl's picture

Granted

You get more more chocolate, but you eat it so much of it that you die, a happy chocolate filled death, but death none-the-less.

I wish that I was in a Broadway Show that is awesome and gets reviews that are full of awesome.

--
Love Happens

fox333's picture

Wish granted! But you can

Wish granted!
But you can never measure up to you first sucess and end up killing yourself a miserable, broken actress.

I wish men loved me.

'Oh Brave New World!'
- Brave New World
I think...

Neutrina's picture

Granted

All men love you. You are trampled to death by your admirers.

I wish I didn't hurt.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

Kkid28's picture

Granted!

Granted! Everything is going good,but the guy turns against you and dates your best guy friend.
I wish I had more confidence to go for what i want!

Neutrina's picture

Granted! You have complete

Granted! You have complete confidence. Unfortunately, this confidence leads to rashness. And, to make room for all the confidence, your competence goes out the window. You go after what you want, but you never get it. Your life is one long, fruitless quest, including a failed suicide attempt. You slit your wrists, badly, but live. Your stitches get infected and you die.

I wish I could fall for someone who wasn't skilled at making me feel worthless.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Maux's picture

granted. but now here's a

granted.

but now here's a class open to the general public on the A- B- C's and 1-2-3's of making you absoloutely MISERABLE.

Bisexual by nature. Absolutely fabulous by choice.

Maux's picture

oops. pressed a funny

oops. pressed a funny button.

i wish i had a daddy. (god the horrible things someone could use this for...)

Bisexual by nature. Absolutely fabulous by choice.

Neutrina's picture

*evil grin* You have a

*evil grin* You have a daddy. A real one, not a sugar daddy. He loves you dearly, but doesn't ever want you to grow up. Unfortunately, your daddy is an evil genius, so he not only prevents you from growing up, he makes you 8 years old forever. You'll always be his little princess.

I wish I could make anyone fall in love with me.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

typicalmusician's picture

Granted, but you make

Granted, but you make someone fall in love with you who hates being in love with you and is always torn between being forced to love you and actually not loving you at all. So after 2 weeks of the relationship, she would commit suicide to escape being forced into love.

I wish I knew what girls (if any) at my school are lesbian or bisexual.

fox333's picture

Granted, but they dislike

Granted, but they dislike your prying and to stop you from seeing any more of their secrets the gouge out your eyes.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

5thstory's picture

Granted. She's a 40 y/o guy

Granted. She's a 40 y/o guy with serious mental health issues. At least he lives in Florida, so you can tan besides the swamp (after your 'girlfriend' kidnaps you and ties you to a tree).

I wish I had more time to read all the things I have to read!

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

fox333's picture

Wish Granted! you have too

Wish Granted!
you have too much time. so much time that you run out of things to read and have to reread everything that you already read so many times that you memorize it and it finially drives you insane.

I wish i was a model.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

coracle's picture

Granted, but as a swimsuit

Granted, but as a swimsuit model, all the visits to the tanning salon cause you to get skin cancer. While sitting at home contemplating the estimated six months you have left to live, you plan a final vacation to Disney World. Unfortunately, due to ridiculously high fuel costs, the airline cancels your flight. As the cancer spreads slowly through your body, you wish in vain for just one day free from all the paparazzi hovering over your death bed. Your last thought is of how your celebrity boyfriend/girlfriend has abandoned you so he/she can have sex with your sister.

I wish I had 20/20 vision.

Neutrina's picture

Granted. You have, not only

Granted. You have, not only 20/20 vision, you have 20/20 x-ray vision. You now don't have to open the door to walk in on your parents having sex, and this happens to you with alarming frequency. Eventually, emotionally scarred, you gouge your eyes out and end up in the mental hospital down the street from 1stTeeka with the rest of us. Cheers.

I wish my plan worked out.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

fox333's picture

Wish granted! But an evil

Wish granted!
But an evil corporation desides that you are so much better planning than they are that they kidnap you and hold you prisoner and force you to plan to do bad things for them.

I wish was twenty pounds thinner.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

music is life's picture

Granted! But you can't stop

Granted! But you can't stop losing weight and die all within 30 minutes so you don't get to enjoy being thinner.

I wish I was good at guitar.

Maux's picture

granted. you are now such a

granted.

you are now such a good guitar player that you have millions and millions of adoring fans, one of whom decides to make you an obsession. you et a restraining order. then the fan decides that if they can't have you, no one can.
they kill you in your sleep.

i wish i could see my brother.

Bisexual by nature. Absolutely fabulous by choice.

fox333's picture

Granted. But not you have to

Granted. But not you have to struggle to keep his attention and end up running all sorts of errands and having to find him a girlfriend all so he will want to spend time with you and he eventually ignores you for his girlfriend.

I wish my sister loved me. (in a nonromantic way)

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

5thstory's picture

Granted. She loves you in a

Granted. She loves you in a non-romantic way. Everyone else, law enforcement and judges included, don't know that nevertheless. They think you and your sister... well, you know. Oedipus -at least- didn't know. Hope you enjoy your time in the psychiatric clinic!

I wish all my good friends wouldn't leave for so much time

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Neutrina's picture

Okay

Granted. They never leave. Not even when you're in the bathroom. You put up with this for a while, but then you meet a really great guy...and you can't get beyond first base because your friends never leave the two of you alone.

I wish she could get her head on straight (no, not that sort of straight. too easy).

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

coracle's picture

Granted, but now all your

Granted, but now all your friends refuse to go more than ten feet away from you and sing the Barney song over and over. Eventually you get so sick of their company that you take a steak knife and kill all of them. You spend the rest of your very long life in jail, trying and failing to get the Barney song out of your head.

I wish I could speak French with a French accent.

runningupthefreeway's picture

granted. Your friends never

granted. Your friends never ever leave you side until you realize you hate all of them.

I wish being gay wasn't a big deal..

runningupthefreeway's picture

all at the same time. thats

all at the same time. thats talent

Neutrina's picture

Lol. Synchronized Posting

Lol. Synchronized Posting Team ftw.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

coracle's picture

What were the chances of

What were the chances of that happening? Strange, but kind of cool.

Splash's picture

ooh, three wishes at once, fun! :-)

Neutrina: granted, but now the entire human race has lost the gift of bendable spines/necks and we all walk around like boards forever.
coracle: granted, but now you are actually speaking mock French and have no choice but to get a job with the Swedish Chef since you also lose the ability to speak English.
runningupthefreeway: granted, but now there is no Oasis website...

I wish my summer program hadn't ended. (Oh dear what will people do...)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

fox333's picture

Wish granted. your summer

Wish granted. your summer program never ends. instead we all enter some alternitive reality where the program becomes its own being and terrorizes all the major citys killing hundered, but hey... its still going.

I wish I had a pretty dress.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

Neutrina's picture

Granted. It fits your hand.

Granted. It fits your hand.

I wish *ponders* I could be content to be single.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

coracle's picture

Granted, but now every man,

Granted, but now every man, woman, child, and mangy three legged dog wants to date you. In the end you have to get married to a unemployed circus clown who filed her teeth to points, rubs rotten fish oil on her skin twice a day, refuses to let you eaten anything but burnt rat, and communicates entirely in grunts in order to stave off the hordes of desperate and increasingly homicidal suitors.

I wish dust wouldn't accumulate in my room.

music is life's picture

Ganted. Dust doesn't

Ganted. Dust doesn't accumulate in your room, it now accumulates on you. And you can't ever wash it off so it just keeps building up and you eventuly become trapped in a dust ball.

I wish my hair would grow faster.

PokemonGeek's picture

Granted but it grows so long

Granted but it grows so long so quickly that it stretches outside where it gets caught in the axle of a car just leaving and rips off your head....

I wish Meridth Viera would get hit by a bus just and splattered just like that girl in the first Final Destination movie!

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby
Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love
Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love
I'm open and ready
~Madonna

Neutrina's picture

Granted. But when she gets

Granted. But when she gets splattered, you get splashed. Just then, your crush/significant other walks by, sees you covered in blood and guts, and runs off screaming in the other direction, never to be seen again.

I wish...she'd respond, positively, to the e-mail.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

fox333's picture

Wish Granted! she respondes

Wish Granted! she respondes positively... to positively... you become parinoid and think that she as an alterior motive and start ignoring her. your romance is dead before it even starts.

I wish some one cute would love me soon.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

Maux's picture

granted, but they become so

granted, but they become so obsessed with their own cuteness htat they only keep you around to hold their mirror.

i wish my brother would call.

Bisexual by nature. Absolutely fabulous by choice.