Forum Games..... The Corrupted Wish

Anonymous's picture

Ok, seeing as the old game is apparently "stale" *glares at adam* heres a new one. Its lots of fun, *evil cackle*. Ok so the object of this game is to grant the previous posters wish, ala monkey paw style.

ie:
User A) I wish I had a pony
User B) Granted, but the pony has a prefernce of human flesh for its food and consumes you in your entirety in a matter of minutes.

So nice and simple, Make sure you make a wish after granting one or ELSE.

I wish my peircing wasn't infected

fox333's picture

Wish Granted! He calls but

Wish Granted! He calls but he never shuts up. He gets so annoying you eventually stab him with a spork.

I wish i could find a job.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

Neutrina's picture

Granted! And it pays

Granted! And it pays wonderfully in tips. Congratulations, you're a stripper.

I wish I'd told her.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

wild-blue-yonder's picture

granted, but she reacts

granted, but she reacts badly and turns out not to be the person you thought she was.

I wish I could get into the lab I want.

my three wheeler rox's picture

...

Granted.. But you make a horrible mistake that causes the lab to explode

I wish my car would quit breaking down

What do you tell a quad rider with two black eyes?
Nothin! You alredy told 'im twice!

wild-blue-yonder's picture

Hee hee...

Hee hee... that's probably not all that far-fetched...
*ahem*
I mean. That would never happen, I'm too careful.

Riku's picture

Granted, but the only way to

Granted, but the only way to prevent the car from breaking down was to wipe it out of existence. Since it doesn't exist it can't break down anymore. Ever.

I wish I had naturally straight hair.

Neutrina's picture

*ponders* Granted. But it's

*ponders* Granted. But it's also 10 feet long, and too strong to cut. The military hears about your amazingly strong hair, and pulls much of it out to study and make into bulletproof vests.

I wish I was done with my summer homework.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

fox333's picture

Granted. But that means you

Granted. But that means you never whent to a party you would have gone to if you weren't doing you homework and miss out on meeting someone that you later realize is the love of your life.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

my three wheeler rox's picture

...

granted. You finished your homework.. but failed.

I wish I could have my 3 wheeler back

What do you tell a quad rider with two black eyes?
Nothin! You alredy told 'im twice!

Neutrina's picture

Sadly, you might be

Sadly, you might be right...

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

fox333's picture

shoot. i forgot to make a

shoot. i forgot to make a wish.

Granted. But you crash into a forest full of sporks and get horrilby mutilated.

I wish someone else i knew besides me like to play this game.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

music is life's picture

Granted. But as soon as they

Granted. But as soon as they know that you like to play it too they stop playing it and hate it now.

I wish I had my English paper written.

Neutrina's picture

Granted. And it's brilliant.

Granted. And it's brilliant. Unfortunately, some big corporation steals it for their mission statement, and now it's classified. So you can't turn it in.

I wish...I felt less rushed?

I just lost the game. (sorry to anyone playing it. if you don't know what I'm talking about don't ask)

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Riku's picture

Thanks a lot you game loser,

Thanks a lot you game loser, you. And ha! You just lost the game AGAIN so there. XD;

5thstory's picture

You're dead. You;re not in a

You're dead. You;re not in a rush now, are you? AH?! ARE YOU?!

I wish people would notice what really matters

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

music is life's picture

Granted. People notice what

Granted. People notice what really matters but they don't give a fuck. The republicans end up taking over the world and then carbon monoxide fills the Earth's atmosphere and we all die.

I wish I could eat strawberry ice cream right now.

fox333's picture

Granted. But republicans

Granted. But republicans have taken over the world and carbon monoxide fills your lungs and you die before getting to finish your icecream.

I wish I was blond.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

PokemonGeek's picture

Granted but unfortunately

Granted but unfortunately you become extremely stupid and a huge klutz that people say you ARE "the dumb blonde!"

I wish all racism and prejudice would go away!

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby
Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love
Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love
I'm open and ready
~Madonna

5thstory's picture

Nuclear war, only

Nuclear war, only cockroaches, turtles, and a special variety of choleric rabbits with very sharp teeth survive. Luckily, neither the cockroaches, nor the turtles get a chance to be racist or prejudiced, since the choleric rabbits ate them all.

I wish I could sing better.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Riku's picture

Granted, but you can only

Granted, but you can only sing now. You're a walking musical, and it annoys the hell out of everyone.

I wish I didn't have artists block.

fox333's picture

Granted. You have numerous

Granted. You have numerous ideas. All of them horrible.

I wish I had a attractive girlfriend.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

music is life's picture

Granted. But she has a

Granted. But she has a terrible personality and smells bad. She smells so bad you become embarrassed to be seen with her.

I wish I owned every pair of Converse made in my size.

Neutrina's picture

Granted. You keep them in a

Granted. You keep them in a giant pile. One day, the giant pile falls on you, and you are crushed to death.

I wish...I was better at letting go.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Riku's picture

Granted, but now you can't

Granted, but now you can't hold on anymore.

I wish I had a nice wig for my next costume.

loreonpravus's picture

Granted, but it's infested

Granted, but it's infested with vicious lice things that gnaw your scalp off.

I wish everything I made would be worshipped like golden droppings.

fox333's picture

Granted, but they are all

Granted, but they are all really terrible and the more everyone adores it the more you realize how horrible the stuff you make is. You spend all your time crying from inner shame.

I wish I knew russian.

"I feel like Nacy Drew in the mystery of the midlife crisis."
-Roger Bannister
The Stepford Wives

Neutrina's picture

Granted. Sort of. You know

Granted. Sort of. You know a Russian named Ivan. Ivan is a chainsaw murderer. He kills you.

I wish I was better at balancing.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

the ghost's picture

Granted but you can never

Granted but you can never ever sit down again.You must constantly balance on one foot at the top of a really tall building and if you stop balancing you die.

I wish I could hear jerusalum bells ringing.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Riku's picture

Granted, but that's all you

Granted, but that's all you ever hear. The sound plays over and over in your head until you commit suicide from the insanity it's driven you too.

I wish people weren't so sexist.

PokemonGeek's picture

Granted. Thanks to you, you

Granted. Thanks to you, you have caused all life as we know it to not exist.

I wish that cute little dogs could talk....

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby
Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love
Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love
I'm open and ready
~Madonna

apuffalogic's picture

Granted.

Except the intelligence required to allow them to talk gives them mental capacity which allows them to slowly and insidiously take over the world. By the time the humans realize what's happened, it's too late. The cute talking dogs end up establishing permanent and total control over the humans.

You end up the sex slave of a pitbull named "pugsy".

I wish my locker was Bigger on the Inside (copyright BBC).

"Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative"

music is life's picture

Granted. Its so big on the

Granted. Its so big on the inside that it takes up all the space on the outside. So now you have to live in a locker.(atleast its not a closet...)

I wish my headache would go away.

the ghost's picture

Granted but it is replaced

Granted but it is replaced by the worst backache ever.

I wish I wasn't still playing this game two years on from when I first started playing it.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Adam A's picture

meow

granted! but then a huge cucumber chases you

i wish i could get raining men, hellowonwheels, imunalia, old fox bob and hyacinthus back on oasis....those ppl were BITCHIN!!!!!!!!!!

Adam A's picture

fuck me it's amazing how

fuck me it's amazing how long this game has been going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just noticed i'm even in the original post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

clarice123's picture

granted, but they're all

granted, but they're all 'ex-gays' now trying to get us to see the light.

i wish homework became illegal, like it is in germany.

Adam A's picture

meow

granted, but then a giant potato would chase you around until you fall into a puddle and hurt u'r little bottttttooooom!!!!

i win!

i wish i could get an exhibition in seattle!

PokemonGeek's picture

Granted. Unfortunately you

Granted. Unfortunately you have been sent back to Nazi Germany and are forced into hiding because you are [ insert "now" if necessary] a Jew...

I wish Courtney Cox would spontenously combust!

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby
Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love
Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love
I'm open and ready
~Madonna

the ghost's picture

granted but you are standing

granted but you are standing beside her and get burned too.

i wish i could kiss some hot girls

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Neutrina's picture

Granted. They're very hot.

Granted. They're very hot. They burn your mouth. And your head. And then you light on fire and die.

I wish my 11:11 wishes would come true.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Adam A's picture

granted, but then some

granted, but then some random comes and yells, 24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! into u'r ear

i wish diabetes would just die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loreonpravus's picture

It does. Along with

It does. Along with everybody with it.

I wish I had super healing powers so that whenever I got hurt, I'd be fixed in about 5 seconds.

5thstory's picture

Granted. Now there's a

Granted. Now there's a psycho with superpowers chasing you (and your father is a complete psycho as well). have a nice life.

I wish he would just vanish from my life (again)

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Neutrina's picture

Granted. But, inexplicably,

Granted. But, inexplicably, you miss him terribly.

I wish I was better at communicating.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Riku's picture

Granted but now nobody wants

Granted but now nobody wants to listen to you.

I wish I had a monologue memorized for tomorrow.

Neutrina's picture

Granted. It's by Lenny

Granted. It's by Lenny Bruce. You get kicked out for profanity.

I wish I was more patient.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Icarus's picture

granted, but this leads to

granted, but this leads to repression of emotions, which leads to you going postal in the local wal-mart/target/etc...

i wish i could just kiss the woman in my choir.

Leave you alone for FIVE MINUTES!

PokemonGeek's picture

Granted. Now you got mono

Granted. Now you got mono from her....

I wish I could fly....

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby
Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love
Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love
I'm open and ready
~Madonna

loreonpravus's picture

Granted. You fly happily

Granted. You fly happily around minding your own business, but end up splattered on the windshield of a Boeing 747 when it flies into you. The pilot loses control and crashes into the White House, leading to more conspiracy theories and even worse airport security in the States.

I wish I had a foolproof gaydar device of some sort.

the ghost's picture

Granted but in exchange for

Granted but in exchange for being able to fly you loose your legs.

i wish this week to be better than last week..

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt