Good lord, I'm going to cry.

humansexual's picture

We kissed.
Enough said.
Except, we're in the exact same place we were -before- we kissed. Someone, please explain that to me, because I'm not sure I understand how something that monumental ends up being so utterly pointless. She loves this other guy, and I love her, and this is all understood, but then we -kissed-, and, well... she still loves that other guy, and I still love her, and oh my god, my brain is going to eat itself. What -exactly- am I supposed to gather from this? We haven't talked about the kiss since, but we're hanging out, but she still flirts with him like it's her bloody job, and she says she loves me but I don't know if she means it as a friend, or what, because I'm confused and I can't read her mind and she's sending me mixed messages and I'm torn between jumping her and bitch-slapping her.
Ah, love. Sweet and beautiful and perfect, much in the same way as getting run over by an eighteen-wheeler is sweet and beautiful and perfect.
I should go to bed.
But I don't know what to -do.-
Maybe I'm blowing all of this out of proportion, and we only kissed because she was high on life and nicotine, and she really just wants to be friends. Or maybe I should be reading -more- into it, though I can't imagine how that's possible. Should I talk to her? Should I forget about the whole thing in it's entirety? Should I slap a sticker on my forehead proclaiming "LOSER" to the world and hide my person in a cardboard box along the side of the street?
Yes. I think a move towards the latter is in order.


Rayven's picture

I say, talk to her. She seems

I say, talk to her. She seems to be leading you on. Which is not fair of her. Shes playing with your heart and the only way shes going to stop is if you either get fed up with her silly games or make her stop and take you seriously..
Talk to her.
I hope it all works out.

Thinking you are beautiful is like an oreo cookie. You either love the inside, The outside, or the entire thing.

humansexual's picture


Thanks for the advice. Hope I'm not too much of a wuss to actually go through with it.
...I probably am. But I'll try, anyways.

The Engine's picture

I went through much the same

I went through much the same thing...there was this guy, a friend of mine...we kissed at a party...and then he took to ignoring me. He would sometimes bring it up (the kiss, that is), as though it were a was not right. I finally realized that he was just playing with me...he was using me. Your situation seems simular. It wasn't fair to me, and it's not fair to you. Tell your friend that you don't want to play games...I know it will be hard, but in the long run, if you keep putting up with her mind-and-heart games, you will get hurt more.

Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas