if only she'll listen...

808Chik's picture

damn...one of my best friends is in germany and she called me today because she's homesick and is having problems with family...we talked about normal stuff and about our other friends, but there's one thing i really wanted to talk to her about but i can't tell her 'cause i'm sworn to secrecy...and it sucks because seeing her hurt, is something that also affects me 'cause i care about her too. okie...the problem or issue that i wanted to tell her about is her boyfriend (her first boyfried), the dude is 20 and she's only 15...yea...and her boyfriends cuzin told me that he treats her like shit and is ashamed to go out with her because of how she dresses. damn him...the first time i met him, i knew that he wasn't gonna be as good as she described him to be, the frickin guy breaks up with her for no good reason, but then later begs her to take him back 'cause he CANT live with out her...guess how many times this has happened?...oh too many to count...yeap the fricking guy is an ass, but she can't see it so she keeps taking him back...UGH...this frustrates me so much 'cause she hurts too much and i witness all of this...god i hate the guy for real, but she is so in love with him that even she won't listent to me.
i tell her about how she can find someone better and its gonna be easier on her too, but no she doesn't listen...damn the girl...i just wish she could see what i see and realize that this guy isn't for her and move on, but she's not that strong when it comes to him...oh god...i don't know what to do...


Duncan's picture

Uh-oh. Your friend is in what

Uh-oh. Your friend is in what's called an abusicve relationship. Unfortunately, these thing slowly happen, and the prerson in them is blind to it. It's like sitting in the shower. If someone flushes the toilet, and it changes temp rapidly, you jump out, right? well, when the temperature gradually changes, you don't notice it till you are freezing cold or burnt, and asking WTF? Yea. You need to get to someone and sit her down and really talk to her. That's all you can do. Get as many people as you can to help. Oh. And fuck secrecy. If this continues, it may progress to something REALLY BAD. If he's already beating her, why are you not intervening?? Do something DRASTIC!!!

808Chik's picture

ok...i doubt he's beating her

ok...i doubt he's beating her...well i hope not...and there's so much i can do when she's in another country...i do try to bring it up and talk to her but she doesn't listen...like really listen...and i just hope it doesn't get to the point that she begins to keep things from me...i'll do what i can...thanx i'll think of something DRASTIC so it doesn't get worse...

"i am who i am, so don't judge me for being myself"

bratalamay's picture


y not just let her figure it out on her own? thats probably one of the reasons she wont listen to u, is because shes trying to do things on her own. i know it will be hard just sitting back and watching her be hurt, but its for her own good. and if, after she dumps him, she comes to u and slams u for not telling her, well, hello!, u did. and if she cant see that, then shes not worth holding on to. trust me, im a doctor. well, maybe not, but i play one on TV. okay, maybe not that either. but (and THIS is true) my dad is a psychologist, and thats what im going to be after college, so i do know what im talking about.......most of the time :P. anyway, thats my suggestion. if u try it, hope it works. if u dont, hope it works out for u and ur freind.
Luv ya,

"Don't let sad people make you sad, let happy people make you happy."