I'm too dependant...

The Engine Driver@drupal.org's picture

My very best friend in the world is a girl (I'm a guy). I tell her everything, and she tells me. We are so close, that she often tells people that I'm her brother. The problem is this: she graduates next spring, and I'm a year behind her in school. Is it odd that I've completely reconsidered what colleges I might attend, so as to be close to her? I mean--is that weird? I love Kate...it's not a sexual love, or even an "I-want-a-relationship" love...it's much more of an admiration kind of thing...I owe everything to her. She was the first one I came out to, and she has helped me through worlds of shit. But I also feel as though I'm too dependant on her, as though I rely on her too much, and should find new friends; but there aren't any people around with whom I could become so close! She and I are so alike--she's a bisexual, and I'm gay. We like the same music, the same art--we even chose the same color hair-dye for her boyfriend when we took him to get his hair done for his bithday (he told us to pick the color). We are so much alike, and I love her...but is it strange (and worth it) to go to a different school to be closer to her. I realize that it's a highschool friendship, but I also believe we're going to be close after highschool, if we stay physically close. Advice would be nice...

Comments

Hyacinthus's picture

It is

It is quite the dilemma. I am currently going through the exact same thing with one of my closest friends. She's leaving at the end of summer for school and I'm afraid we're gonna drift apart. As for picking colleges, no it's not necessarily a bad thing to choose a school close to a friend. It's only natural since you want to keep your friendship alive. Just bear in mind that not only will she meet new people, but so will you. So even if you are close together geographically it still does not mean that you will retain your level of closeness. This fact I know from my boyfriend who hasn't hung out with hardly any of his old high school friends at college. Now loosing him at the end of the summer is something else I am VERY worried about but we won't go into that little fact.

"Persuasive speech, and more persuasive sighs,
Silence that spoke, and eloquence of eyes."
- The Iliad (bk. XX, l. 315), (Bryant's translation)

Adam A's picture

that's the least of u'r worri

that's the least of u'r worried in college buddy, if u'r friendship is good enough it'll survive, mine aren't, and that's where it gets shit. take it as a test of the friendship, and be there for her because first year of college is THE BITCH!

I'M JUST A GYPSIE WITH WONDERING EYES, AND I'LL TELL YOU SECRETS THAT SEND YOU TO SLEEP, AND ALL I CAN GIVE YOU IS ALL OF MY LOVE, THESE ARE THINGS I CAN GIVE YOU TO KEEP.

jenevieve's picture

Don't stress. Wanting to go

Don't stress. Wanting to go to a college or school near her isnt a bad thing, its totally understandable....just make sure that you decision is for you too - don't go and do a course or subject you don't want to.

And even if you do end up apart then you can still keep the friendship alive if you try hard enough. Theres a million ways to communicate these days...sending letter, phone calls, texts, instant messaging, e-mails......etc

My 3 best friends and I were all worried about loosing each other after the summer when we go to University. We had all applied to Uni's all over the country and could have ended up miles away from one another. Somehow though we've all ended up in Glasgow and are sharing a flat. We know that we'll all make new friends and meet other people but hopefully living together will keep us together a little while longer.

Things will work out ok. Promise.

jen

xox

My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All these women out there praying for a man, and i'm giving them my share. - RMB

jojojo's picture

it sounds like a really reall

it sounds like a really really great friendship. see the positive things in it. many people would envy you for it. (maybe I do a little bit.)
as for the colleges, I think it is totally okay to take into consideration where your friend is and how close/distant from her you could be. just take into consideration other factors too. Good luck.