Whoa... I'm looking back at the past few weeks of my life...
I joined Oasis at the very end of May, and since then I've come out to most of my family and my closest friends. I've come out to near strangers at a writing summer camp I went to. I've looked at my little town in an entirely different light.
My town... is just simply bigoted. I don't expect anyone to accept me, and I don't plan on coming out to my school ever. It really is a personal safety issue, because everyone is just expected to turn out Christian and straight, with no tolerance for anything different. I mean, I went through hell when I told people I was an athiest, and they still bug me about it to this day. I moved into the town two years ago, and I am at least aware that your life is really about you and your choices, not about what everyone expects you to do. So I decided that I'm never coming out.
My two best friends now know that I'm gay. My new best friend who just graduated from my little bigoted school is awesome and not bigoted like everyone else. Perhaps needless to say, she is the only other liberal person for quite a few miles around. My old best friend who I left behind in my old town knows too. He was just cool about it. I still visit my old town alot becaue my dad still lives there. It really isn't a 'town,' it's more like a small city (85,000 people).
My brother and his girlfriend have been the best, though. They have helped me decide alot of things in the past few weeks. Although it is very unlikely that they'll read this, I thank them... alot.
The best part about this entire summer is that I have accomplished my goal. I started out my summer determined to meet new people (preferably other gay guys), and I have met a few. But I feel accepted now, knowing that in most places, I can be myself without anyone caring much. I just had my first gay date a few days ago, and it was alright. Nothing happened, I swear. (I'm still a proud virgin!) I feel like I can only date in my dad's city, though, because my mom's town is far too small to keep secrets. And there are no gay people for over 45 miles... it sucks, big time.
In the past few days, I saw one of my old girlfriends and told her that I'm gay now. She didn't care, as I expected (she's so awesome like that!). So, now I'm waiting to hear if I have a date with another guy, one of her friends. He's sooo cute looking! I've only seen his Myspace, but I'm confident. This is truely the best part of the summer: After starting off cold, I'm dating for real now.
I'm so fucking happy that I want to cry!