Barium's picture

Shit it is crazy how much I've changed since my last journal entry.
I actually hate my old journal. It sucks because for some reason I just couldn't see the bigger picture. Damn I feel like a dumbass just reading it. Thank god that was almost a year ago...

Anyways, current situation- living with my mom in a different town in Alberta Canada.
I am 18 so I can drink now which is awesome. i love having a beer after work.
I just got my hair trimmed so I feel pretty good about that. I've been a little depressed lately but mainly because I am a little lonely. I have 2 friends but I just don't like being the only openly gay person in my town. That's right... I'm depressed because I haven't had a date for 6 months :( ;) . I have a great job that makes me rich though so that's a plus... I feel very misunderstood because the people I did hang out with totally ditched me and talked behind my back when I did National Day Against homophobia at my school. i know that "If they ditch you because you are gay then they were never your friends to begin with" but it just hurts. Plus I'm all graduated now and I have to move to the next step of my life that is just kind of sad because I don't want to leave my confort zone :/ I'll just really miss my friends from Stony Plain (my old town). They were very good to me and supported me when I came out and stood up for me. I was supported where I live now but it was different because people are a little more close minded here. It's not a very big deal though because I already graduated and I don't have to worry about highschool!!!!!
I'm single... I have black and purple hair... I spend all my free time with my friends Erik and Katrina.... I drink a lot... which is normal for an 18 year old.... I dunno. Life is pretty good actually.


SilentBlue's picture

I know I'm going to look back

I know I'm going to look back on my journal entries too and think of them as incredibly stupid and self-centered...but oh well, its all part of growing up I guess.

After grad is scary....too many unknowns and the pressure to start a life. But I still think its better than high school!..... I love going to Alberta, I still have to wait a year here before I can drink(legally) and go to clubs and stuff.

jeff's picture


That's sort of the point of keeping a journal, to track your progress (or lack thereof).

I'm a totaly myspace whore (and by whore, I mean I use it to sleep with people, I'm not on it often), so ADD ME AS A FRIEND (last name Walsh)

Hyacinthus's picture


I'm glad you realized life is pretty good. And I sincerely doubt that you're the only gay person in town. You may be the only open one but it does not mean you're the only one. And if you can't get a date in your town you could always take a little roadtrip to a nearby one that does have a larger gay population.

"Persuasive speech, and more persuasive sighs,
Silence that spoke, and eloquence of eyes."
- The Iliad (bk. XX, l. 315), (Bryant's translation)