shopping for anger

miss-understood's picture

i find myself hating myself when i go shopping with friends. Take today for example. Shopping with the girls: Jess, Bonnie, Ashley, and Dani. All is going normal, i get on the 56 (bus) sit up the back, two stops later Ash joins me another stop later Bon jumps on then 3 stops later Dani gets on. We go straight to the food court and get our usuall 'thursday shopping food' Which is low-fat vanilla shakes, and 2 bags of hot chips which we share. We go and sit in the park across from the mall and eat. Normal. Then we put our rubbish in the bin, and go back inside. We head straight for supre, buy a tone of clothes that will just sit in the wardrob for months untill we decide to do a clothes swap, only then can they be worn. ITs our rules lol. weird i know but oh well. Its just our thing. Im gonna miss it when i move. :( Oh well ill live!

Why do i hate myself when i go shopping with the girls? This is why.
Because the 'oh he's hot... i dare you to get his number.....' thing always comes up. And i go along with it, then when i see a cute guy i point him out. I feal ashamed of it really. Like im betraying myself.
i get angry then when i go home i go and sulk in my room. And i just get soo angry at myself. Why? Because i joined in. I feal guilty and heart smashed and lost EVERY thursday.

I guess this means im no longer bi..... i guess iv moved up a level.

Comments

Sunny Rays's picture

Ooh. Your friends do that too

Ooh. Your friends do that too? You could try what I do. Just don't join in. They'll be so wrapped up in it that they probably won't notice anyway. Good luck!

Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it.

utter_insanity's picture

I hate this too

I'll have to go with what Sunny Rays said, since it's what I always do when my friends are like that. They really don't notice. Sometimes they ask you whether you think a guy is cute, or if you're crushing on anybody, though. You can just tell them "no" or "it's none of your business" and refuse to answer any questions. Eventually they get bored and leave you alone. Trust me, it works.

~~Gay And Here To Stay~~
I'm a lesbian with straight hair, how ironic is that?

Trinity88's picture

hm..yes

my friends used to do that too...i joined in once...and it felt so uncomfortable and so unnatural that i never did it again...no one really noticed when i didnt join. then of course as the years went on people would be more surprised if i did join than if i didnt...lol

*I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead, i lift my lids and all is born again. I think i made you up inside my head*

Adam A's picture

if i was in that situation i'

if i was in that situation i'd be inclined to say "yeh that guy is hot, i'd hit it!!!"
but you know, i'm subjective