Riku's picture

More random blabber from me. It's kind of embarassing, I don't know why I post this so other people can read it. But whatever.

Sora (that girl I like, if you haven't read my previous journals.) came over again today, and two of her sisters. I rather have just her there but oh well. Her sisters are nice too.

I'm not allowed to walk her home anymore apparently. ._. But I love walking her home, we'd talk on the way there and then I'd walk home happy, and it would give me a chance to think. But when she left today she said her mom didn't want me walking her home anymore. Mabye her parents do think I'm a bad influence or something..? Her mom is nice and all but I have no idea what she thinks of me.

Sora was acting really weird today though, first she pulls me onto her lap, and puts her arms around my waist, then a little later she shoves me off and blames me for making her leg fall asleep, like she can't decide what she wants. And then later today she tells me to sit on her lap agian. And it's like, impossible for me to say no so I sat there, untill she told me to move because it hurt. And she would also sit on my lap and hug me. I don't know if she's that affectionate to everyone...?

But I'm really seriously losing all dobut of her liking me, because we were talking, Sora, me, and her sister, and Sora says something that suggests she's a lesbian right? And her sister is like "I didn't know you went that way!" and then Sora dosen't respond. And the only reason I can think of that she wouldn't respond is because she does have some interest in girls. And this isn't the first time that happened either so...

And all today I kept forgetting to come out to her. She'd start talking about something that would give me a chance to jump in and say that I'm gay. And I don't think of it untill the chance has flown by. And me trying to make the coming out thing you know, not akward. But I'm going to have to just say it aren't I? Because I'm not sure if she has it figured out, and even if she has suspicions, she's probably dobutful, like me.

Though, I've become a lot less shy and stuff since I met her, and I'll just come out to her when I feel comfortable, since I haven't really been hiding it anyways... Though I really don't get why I can't say it, it's not like anything bad would happen. I'm sure. Since she jokes about this kind of thing anyways. But I can't for some reason. It's totaly stupid.