Sick

SilentBlue's picture

Ugh! I hate talking to people I don't know!....or more just people that I want to know, but have to talk to them first, but right now I don't know them so I'm nervous and self-conscious! (get all that?) I'm trying to force myself to talk to more people so it doesn't get to me everytime I say a word to anyone, but it makes me physically sick!

My mom keeps on insisting that this isn't normal and that I should talk to someone, but I really don't want to! I have tried to be more outgoing before and felt this same way, but the more I forced myself to do it the more sick I got and paranoid until I broke down and talked to no one again and hid away. Whats added to it this time is, like, mini panic attacks? I don't really know what it is but I get really hot and start breathing heavily and get dizzy and nauseous. I don't know if its worth suffering this much just to be able to talk to people.....

I get really mad everytime my mom tells me I should talk to a counselor because it makes me feel more that there is something wrong with me. And when she is constantly telling me this its hard to try to tell myself otherwise! I know I don't think like normal people and I'm way too paranoid and self-analyzing, but I can't think of how not to be! My friends are always telling me that I never talk loud enough and that I'm way too shy. How can I not be?? I've been trying to, but sometimes I just don't have the energy to deal with the stress and sickness I feel when I try to be more outgoing..... Even when I'm happy, this stuff gets to me....I just try to pretend it doesn't bother me. But now I really want to start meeting new people and making new friends, but I get sick and give up all the time! I don't know what to do, but I don't want to go to a counselor again. I've been this way for way too long now and I keep counting on changing once I move, but I think its going to be more complicated than that. I think holding stuff in and back and trying to change myself all through high school has messed me up more than I thought.

Comments

raining men's picture

You

You don't need to talk if there's no reason to. Most people accept this

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"

ForeverEndedToday's picture

...........

You dont have to be more outgoing. You could just stay with the friends you have now and be happy with them. Its not worth getting sick over. And if you dont want to got to counseling dont go. Its your choice whether or not you need help. This probably isnt helping at all,sorry. I hope everything gets better.

But I cant do the talks like they talk on my tv screen
I cant do a love song not the way you song them to me
I cant do everything but I would do anything for you
Oh no I cant do anything except be in love with you

Y - GuRl's picture

:\

Hey
If trying to be more outgoing is making you feel like this, you shouldn't force yourself to be. I respect your courage though because I really can't talk to strangers at all and it seems like you can force yourself past that at least. Maybe you could just smile and have open body language so people feel that tbey can approach you. It's really hard to change I know, seems like you get pretty anxious. You're mum probably is just worried about you.. ignore her if you have to. I think I really understand where you're coming from because I feel almost the same as what you've said.. but I haven't told anyone about it. Well you can message me about it and we can talk if you want.

p.s umm weird we have the same birthday.. except a 1 year difference

Imstillhere's picture

I dont think you should chang

I dont think you should change if u dont want to and if you do want to dont force yourself too. stick with the friends you have. iam exactly like that except i dont get that sick but i do get dizzy and nauseous....anyway its good to be out going but you shouldnt get sick about it. Love your avatar by the way




~Love will survive all things~

Drmmrgrl8's picture

That's tough. I have a smalle

That's tough. I have a smaller case of that. It's a complete act for me when I act outgoing (which isn't very often). It's like watching from someone else's point of view. I'd just say do whatever you want. If you want to meet new people and such then start out small. Maybe find other shy people to get to know first (stay away from the really happy loud people for awhile. They can be pretty intimidating can't they?). But if at some time you feel you just don't have the energy then don't push it. You are who you are. It depends on how much you want to change.

-"What great things would you accomplish if you knew you could not fail?"