I feel like I'm living in one of those weird tv shows or something. My cousins are over and the worst thing happened..... Sora says she thinks cousin is cute! (And it's sad because he's girl crazy.) D: I'm kind of pissed off because my dope of a cousin has a better chance with her than I do just cuz he's a guy. X_X I'll get over it. But it's going to be hectic and crowded around here and I probably won't be able to write in here for a while... Aren't you lucky?
On the other hand we went to the amusment park the other day, with the dance and all, it was really awesome, though we didn't go on all the rides we wanted to because we're both impatient and didn't want to wait in lines. X3 But there was the dance, and that was really, really, really awesome. *nod* We danced together, it rocked! =D
And Sora and my cousin (We'll call him Goofy... Trust me it suits him. X3 (Notice the use of KH names. XD)) were P-Chating on mine and his DS' and she asks him over the DS, "Is *my name here* gay?" (Thank goodness he can't read without his glasses, and being the brickhead he is, he dosen't wear them.) And when I see this I yell "What kind of question is that!?" and like don't awnser. I would have said that I was if her sister and my cousins weren't there. But oh well.
What's weird, is she says my name as if to tell me something, and then says she was thinking aloud, so I pester her about it because I'm curious (I don't like to call myself nosy. X3) and she's like, doging. She claims it was "nothing" and mabye it was, but if it was really nothing she wouldn't have been avoiding the subject the way she was. But I gave up after a while because it was getting to the point where pestering her about it was becoming a chore. But I still wonder what she was going to say. Probably something stupid that I shouldn't get worked up over.
On the other hand Soras sisters keep coming over with her, which can be nice, but I miss having only her over. I just feel less comfortable talking about things with other people around. And I'm still a bit upset about not being able to walk her home. I really don't get it. But the good news is that her chores are switching or something soon, and she'll be able to sleep over again, I miss that.
But she's weird, she dosen't mind me sitting on her lap, not only that she tells me to sit on her lap. Seriously, Sora is so confusing, one minute it seems like she could like me and the next it's like, not a chance. But more of the time she seems like she could like me, which is probably worse, because if that wasn't the case I wouldn't bother wondering. You know? She keeps doing these things which make me suspicous, and then she keeps doing these things that make me totaly unsuspicous. But I'm still going with the straight and extremely friendly theory. It's like, safer that way.
I'm going to try to come out to her soon, because I want to come out to my cousins but they're only here for a week, so I'll try real soon, I keep getting closer but me being the chicken I am I can't say it. D: I don't know WHY I can't say it.
On the other hand, I haven't done much to hide that I'm gay. I wouldn't be surprised if she was waiting for me to say it, in fact, I'm almost sure she is. Okay, I will not chicken out. Or at least that's what I keep saying. Anyone have any ideas to keep me from chickening out? I'm no good at this kind of thing...