A crush Problem I'm having

Vindictive's picture

Ok, so here's the thing. About 6 months ago I got a new job, and I moved city's because of it. Now for this Job (Flight Attendant) You have to do a month long training course, and there is now a group of about 4 of us from this course, that all moved to this new city, and all socialise a fair bit together. We all get on great, I live with one of them, and the other two flat seperatly but we still see each other when day's off permit. I'm by far the youngest of the group at 21, but it's never been a problem.

Now, my actual problem with that said, is one of the girls in the group. She's 29, and we get along absolutly great, but I think I'm starting to like her as more than just a friend. I mean, like a crush kind of thing :-p Its confusing as hell, because a)I've never been any good at reading people, so I don't know if its one sided or not. b)I don't want to say something and have it ruin a perfectly good friendship. and c)What if she is feeling the same, and then it ruins a good friendship anyway.

Its all so damn strange, I mean.. I think because Im so young she's probably not interested in me, but.. blah. What should I do?

wild-blue-yonder's picture

maybe give it a while?

I'd give it a while and then see how things progress. Maybe you'll find that as you get to know each other better, you can start picking up clues as to how she feels. You'll also be more sure about your feelings for her. If it's been a while and you're still feeling this way, or if you start getting signals like maybe she's interested in you, then maybe start dropping hints and see if you get a reaction. I dunno, that's just what I would do. I'm usually inclined towards caution though (maybe too much). Go with the flow and do whatever feels right.

jeff's picture

avoid the two-fer...

The steps here are easy.

First, you come out.

And only then should you debate whether to express your interest in her. It's quite a lot to go from casual friends to "Oh, and I'm a lesbian, by the way, and I quite fancy you."

Most people don't want two huge things in one sentence like that, especially if they get pulled into it all by the second part of it.

By coming out, sexuality becomes a topic, which then means her sexuality will come into play, most likely.

Can also relate it to the training:

"Ugh, it's going to be annoying to get hit on by all these guys and them not knowing I rather fancy the minge." (remove UK slang at your discretion).

I'm a total myspace whore (and by whore, I mean I use it to sleep with people, I'm not on it often), so ADD ME AS A FRIEND

Vindictive's picture

I'm actually a straight guy,

I'm actually a straight guy, so coming out isn't that big a deal :-p Its more so the fact that she's an exceptionally good friend of mine. I've never been gay, and I'm not.

Love is friendship caught on fire

jeff's picture

I beg to differ...

As a straight male flight attendant, you DO need to come out. Gay is always assumed. :-)

I'm a total myspace whore (and by whore, I mean I use it to sleep with people, I'm not on it often), so ADD ME AS A FRIEND

Vindictive's picture

Are you saying that I need to

Are you saying that I need to come out and be gay because of my job? Thats just... what?

Anyway, besides the point, I went to a party with her the other day, and well.. yeah, lets just say I kind of am with her now, which is strange, but yeah.

Love is friendship caught on fire

Ward's picture


Hehe, he's saying you should come out as straight, because as a flight attendant, most people will think you're gay.

Used to be it was a man's world and a woman's place was in the home...
they can kiss that shit goodbye.