Never, apparently. Or rather, I already learned, yesterday, but it's a bit too late to take Walnut Hill up on their offer.
Two days ago, I was a disturbingly happy, content person who was developing her confidence and self-identity. Now I am exhausted, feel like crying five times a day, and have no desire to do any of the work or activities set out in front of me.
This summer, I talked to practically everyone at work (60 racially/economically diverse kids) at least once. At my homogenous high school, who do I talk to? Five or ten friends. Maybe. And I can't feel sure of any of their attentions for long stretches of time. I'm worried about making small talk with my classes. I thought that this year I could just break down the walls around me, but I can't. That, coupled with exhaustion and altogether too much for two of me to do, is making me miserable.
I seriously cannot take this anymore. It is my senior year and I will be out in nine months (minus two days) and I am under complete surveillance by colleges that would like to add me to their glossy brochures, and I cannot do another day.
To think that I chose this over the lesbian poets.