it's just pizza

Y - GuRl's picture

I haven't talked to purple haired girl yet, but she seems to walk past my desk extra slow but I think that just might be in my head.. But there are rumours she is going out with one of the guys in our class so I guess she's just another straight girl. But I think I'm ok with that.

I've lost my voice for the past week so I've been sounding like a pre-pubescent boy and that makes it hard to sing along to songs while I'm driving. There have been lotsa queer chicks around lately, just randomly scattered wherever I go which is cool. Makes me feel less isolated. Oh and I've been called sir and dude in the past few weeks which is something I would have been offended by a few months ago, but now I think it's just funny. I don't really think I pass off as a boy.. but some days I might dress more boyish depending on how I feel, and being flat-chested as well could help confuse people.

But it was weird when me and my sister had finished buying pizza, she kept on going about how that guy who served me really liked me. I didn't believe her and just told her to shut up, but she just kept on going on about it. I told her that he was probably looking at her, but she admitted that she was jealous because he was looking at me. I mean I was flattered, he was cute and really nice.. she didn't know it, but she had just put my mind into 'analysing my sexuality' mode. I was driving at the time so it caused me to miss the street we usually turn into, which made her think that I was still dreaming about pizza guy. But what was really going through my mind was 'Would I notice him liking me if he wasn't a guy in the first place?' 'Am I attracted to him?' 'Would I fuck him?' I know it was just a small thing, but those small things just really get me thinking.. a lot.


Mac and Cheese's picture

I hate that. I’m complete

I hate that. I’m completely out, but for months I did that every time I saw an attractive guy. I would think about it for days. Before I was out I was so sure that this was me, but then after, I got to thinking, “What if I come upon a guy that I would fuck someday? Would it be too late? Wouldn’t I just be proving everyone right, that I just needed the right guy to come along?